


Love Between Bars

by writingdesire123



Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: F/F, Nichorello, vauseman - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2019-10-04 12:40:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 22,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17304806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingdesire123/pseuds/writingdesire123
Summary: Lorna Morello, running a popular bar on her own. Nicky Nichols, serving a five year sentence in a Minimum Security Prison. Can they still keep their love alive?





	1. Chapter One

Lorna Morello and Piper Chapman were sat in a cozy cafe in the middle of New York. Lorna was sipping on a coffee whilst Piper was stirring the cream around from her Salted Caramel hot chocolate. The two were preparing for the three hour drive up to Litchfield Penitentiary to see Lorna's long term girlfriend. Lorna was yet to learn how to drive so Piper offered to drive her once every three weeks. 

"We best be off if were going to make it for visiting hours," said Piper as she finished the last of her drink. Lorna nodded and she too, finished the last of her drink. The two stood up and put their coats on before heading out into the cold, beginning the short walk to Piper's car. Upon arrival, they took their coats off, throwing them into the back, before getting into the car and buckling their seat belts. 

"Shit it's cold," complained Piper. 

"Well put the heating on then," snapped Lorna. Piper looked over at her friend, bemused. 

"Something the matter?" she questioned as she started the car. 

"Nothing really. I just really wish she could come home," Lorna said with a sigh. Piper felt bad for her friend. 

"I know you do but you have to face up to whats happening. She made a mistake and now she is paying for it. I understand that its not fair for you to have to suffer either but this is your life for the next three years. She gave you the opportunity to get out of it but you declined so now you got to live with it." Never had anyone spoken more truth then Piper did just then. Lorna knew she was right, she just didn't want to admit it. 

00000

Nicky Nichols awoke the the sound of the annoying alarm ringing throughout the prison. She rolled over to see her roommate who apparently couldn't hear as well as speak as the alarm was yet to wake her. Nicky had been in prison for two years now and she still hadn't gotten used to waking up without her girlfriend in her arms in their luxury apartment that they shared. It always took her a few seconds to realize where she was when she woke up, and when she did she wanted to cry and scream. She wanted to go back to the night where she messed up and do everything differently. 

She got out of the hard bed deciding to try to get to the showers before the queue got too big and all the hot water was gone. She slipped her sandals on and grabbed her wash bag and towel before heading towards the showers. She looked down at her feet, socks and sandals were not a good look and she knew her girlfriend would kick her if she saw her right now. That was when she remembered Lorna was coming to visit her today. She came as often as she could but for Nicky that wasn't often enough. She barley got though the separation with their daily phone calls.

Nicky was snapped back into reality when she felt the harsh cold water hit her head. Soon enough the water began to heat up. Nicky quickly scrubbed her body and washed her hair before turning the shower off and drying her wild hair with the white, small towel. She then wrapped her toned body in the same towel before stepping out. She noticed a few inmates were starting to line up, she was glad she had gotten there before. She walked over to the sinks and looked in the dirty mirror. She couldn't wait to get out and use conditioner in her hair again. She attempted to brush her hair as best as she could before brushing her teeth and cleaning her ears. 

00000flashback00000

Nicky sat at a bar drinking from her sixth bottle of beer. She was beginning to come down from her high and she wasn't ready for that yet but she didn't have anymore drugs so alcohol was the next best thing. She closed her eyes as she drained the last remaining drop from the bottle. She was about to holler for another bottle before she felt a presence sit next to her. She looked over and saw the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. Upon closer inspection Nicky noticed  her tear stained face. In an attempt to stop thinking about her lack of alcohol and drugs, she decided to try and make conversation. 

"Hey, are you okay Kid?"  Nicky asked gently. It took the woman a few moments to realize that she was being spoken to. 

"Oh yeah, just had a rough night," she replied, looking down at her hands that were clenched together tightly. The two didn't talk for a few moments before Nicky decided to speak up again. 

"I love this song," she didn't even know what the song was but she wasn't ready to end the conversation yet. 

"Its one of my favorites," the woman said, smiling for the first time since Nicky had met her. 

"Whats your name kid?" 

"Lorna. Lorna Morello." 

"Is that Italian or something? My names Nicky, Nichols." 

"Yeah actually. I moved to New York when I was four." Nicky smiled, excited that she had finally gotten Lorna to engage in a conversation. The two spoke for hours before Lorna looked down at her watch and realized the time. 

"Gosh, its three o'clock. I really need to get going," she said as she stood up. 

"Can I have your phone number?" Nicky asked hopefully. Lorna smiled as she wrote it down on a piece of paper she had pulled out from her pocket. Lorna began to walk away before Nicky decided to speak up again. 

"I'd like to know more about you." 

"I'd like to know more about you too," Lorna said as she walked away. 

00000

Lorna needed to go out. After she had caught her now ex boyfriend cheating on her with another woman she just had to get out. She found herself at a bar. She managed to find a seat by the bar. She didn't order right away, not being much of a drinker but she really needed one that night. She ordered a beer. 

"Are you okay Kid?" asked a raspy voice coming from the person beside her. As Lorna looked at her she saw the woman's messy, dirty blonde hair. She also picked up on the tired look on her face. 

"Oh yeah, just had a rough night," Lorna lied, not wanting to talk about what happened earlier. If she spoke about it, it meant that it was real. Silence fell between the two before the woman spoke up again. 

"I love this song." 

"Its one of my favorites." In truth she had never even heard it before but there was something about the woman that made her want to please her. 

"Whats your name Kid?" Lorna liked how the woman called her Kid, it made her feel special even though she was sure she probably said to everyone. 

"Lorna. Lorna Morello." 

"Is that Italian or something? My names Nicky, Nichols," What a strange name, she thought. Who would name their kid that? 

"Yeah actually. I moved to New York when I was four," she decided to reply to the first part rather than the second. Nicky smiled the most beautiful smile Lorna had ever seen. The two spoke for hours until Lorna looked down at her watch. 

"Gosh, its three o'clock. I really need to get going," she reluctantly said as she stood up, not really wanting to leave Nicky. 

"Can I get your number?" Lorna was glad when she heard Nicky say that. She wanted her number herself but she just didn't want to ask for it. Lorna reached into her large coat pocket and pulled out a piece of paper and pen. She quickly scribbled her number down before handing it back to the other woman. Lorna began to walk away when she heard Nicky's voice once again. 

"I'd like to know more about you." 

"I'd like to know more about you too," Lorna smiled to herself as she left the bar, feeling much better than she did when she first entered.


	2. Chapter Two

"What are you smiling about Nichols?" asked Alex Vause to her prison best friend as Nicky sat down next to her. 

"My girls coming today," she smiled. Nicky always looked forward to Lorna visiting. 

"Is that hot girl coming?" Alex asked suggestively. Nicky chuckled. 

"She's bringing Lorna here, but i'm pretty sure shes straight." 

"I can change that." Both of them laughed. As the CO on duty announced that breakfast was over, Nicky sighed only just after she sat down. The two dumped their trays and went their separate ways, Alex having to go and work in laundry. Nicky worked in electrical, but didn't have to be there until later so she had some free time on her hands. Nicky glanced at the clock that was hung high on the wall, surrounded by a bar, as she realized she only had an hour until she would get to see Lorna. 

Upon arriving at her shared cube, Nicky slumped down on her bunk. She reached for the photo that she hid underneath her pillow. It was a photo of her and Lorna in on top of the Eiffel Tower a year before Nicky got sent to prison. They both looked happy and above all Nicky looked healthy. Her hair was tied up whilst Lorna's was flowing down to her shoulders. Nicky missed being able to see Lorna everyday, to hold her for more than five seconds, to spoon her in bed and to treat her to the impromptu trips they used to do so often. 

00000

"I'll wait for you here," said Piper softly to Lorna who was getting out of the car that was parked at the visitor car park at Litchfield Penitentiary. Lorna nodded her head, to excited to actually respond. They only got to see each other once every three weeks and even though they spoke on the phone daily, Lorna missed getting to see and touch her girlfriend. 

She entered the grungy prison and sat in the waiting room. as usual she was early. Her mind began to wonder to Nicky. what she would be doing now, how she was. Every morning she woke up to an empty bed, she had to make her own breakfast rather than eating the omelette Nicky would make her every morning, socializing with their friends on her own, always missing Nicky by her side and finally having to run the bar that they had invested in. Lorna found it a struggle but it was like Nicky's baby and she had promised her she would look after them. 

A guard entered the waiting room and told the visitors that they could come through. Lorna had to walk through a metal detector followed by handing over her personal belongings. Sometimes a creepy guard with a mustache would feel her up and she would feel horrible but then she remembered that Nicky had to put up with that everyday and possibly even worse, that made her feel even more horrible. 

She took a seat in the corner, choosing privacy for the two. She noticed a few inmates begin to walk into the visitation room, knowing that Nicky would shortly be joining her. 

As Lorna saw Nicky enter the room she stood up quickly. Nicky sped walked over to Lorna and they hugged for the short amount of time that was allowed. As they sat down Nicky let her  eyes look Lorna up and down for a few moments. 

"You look good," she smiled. 

"You too." Nicky laughed. 

"Obviously I don't. I'm in prison babe." Lorna replied by giggling nervously. The two were silent for a moment. 

"Are you okay Lorna? Your very quiet." Lorna took a few moments before she answered. 

"I just miss you," Lorna said as she looked down. 

"But were seeing each other right now," Nicky knew what Lorna meant and she felt the same exact thing, but she tried to make light of the situation. 

"You know what I mean Nicky." 

"I know." 

"I miss waking up next to you, the omelet you would make me every morning and the bar is taking up so much energy. I just want you back. I don't want to have to travel all this way to see you." Nicky could tell Lorna was getting upset. She was good at calming her down and knew exactly what to do. Nicky moved her hand on top of Lorna's hand that was resting on the table. She squeezed it slightly. 

"I know baby. I am so sorry. Don't feel like you have to come and visit me though. We can still have our phone calls," Nicky wanted to continue seeing Lorna, but not at the expense of her girlfriends feeling. 

"I want to see you Nicky. I just wish it wasn't in here." 

"I know baby. I know."

00000flashback00000

Lorna couldn't stop thinking about the woman that she had met a week ago. Every night since then she had gone back to the same bar hoping to see her, but so far had been unsuccessful. She was walking down the high street one night , just needing to get out of her apartment. She walked passed an alley way but stopped when she heard shouting. She retraced her steps until she was standing in front of the ally way. She saw a tall woman wearing all black pinning a smaller woman against a wall, shouting at her, getting in her face. The smaller woman suddenly turned round to face Lorna and her heart skipped a beat. It was Nicky from the other night. Nicky turned back around to face the woman and began shouting in her face. The taller woman leaned down close to Nicky's ear and whispered something before slipping  small bag full of white powder into her hand. The woman walked away. Nicky approached Lorna as she shoved the bag into her pocket, her face instantly softer. Nicky looked even more tired than she did a week ago, she had heavy bags underneath her eyes and her face looked sweaty. 

"Are you okay?" asked Lorna, not really sure what else to say. 

"Yeah, just a little disagreement. Nothing for you to worry about." 

"Okay." Silence fell between the two. 

"Look, do you want to go for a drink?" Nicky asked finally. Lorna smiled. 

"Yeah, I would." 

00000

Nicky needed a fix. So she went out in search of a dealer. She stumbled across a woman lurking in an alley way. 

"I need whatever you have." Usually Nicky wasn't as desperate but she couldn't get her mind of the small Italian from the other night and on top of that her mother had cut her off again. 

"Forty," the woman said, holding her hand out. Nicky rolled her eyes and handed the woman the money. At that point, the woman's face darkened and she pushed Nicky against a wall. 

"Roll your eyes at me again. Go on. I dare you," Nicky didn't care to listen to what else the woman had to say. She just wanted her fix. As she turned her head, in an attempt to forget what was happening, she saw Lorna from the other night. The two held a gaze for a second before Nicky once again faced the woman, who had now stopped shouting at her. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the bag of white powder that Nicky longed for before making her way into the dead of night. Nicky quickly slipped the bag into her pocket, hoping Lorna wouldn't question her. 

"Are you okay?" asked Lorna. Nicky knew she didn't want to tell her the truth. 

"Yeah, just a little disagreement. Nothing for you to worry about," She lied. 

"Okay." Silence fell between the two. Nicky always felt awkward in moments like that. 

"Look, do you want to go for a drink?" she asked breaking the silence, hoping that the Italian would say yes. Lorna smiled that same smile that had captured her on their first meeting. 

"Yeah, I would." Nicky felt relief rush through her. Maybe she didn't need that hit just yet.


	3. Chapter Three

"Are you okay Red?" asked Nicky as she entered the kitchen where her mother figure worked. She was chopping carrots on the corner of the counter but something in her facial expression said that something was wrong. 

"I'm fine. Now get that cloth from over there and start wiping down the surface if you want to be useful." Nicky did as she was told. 

"How was your visit?" 

"Good," replied Nicky. She didn't want to get into how upset her girlfriend really was.

"Come on Nicky. I know when you lie to me. What really happened?" 

"Nothing really. She just got upset and then I had to leave her and I hate leaving her like that." 

"Oh honey," cooed Red as she approached Nicky who had stopped wiping down the counter. 

"I know it's hard but she has her friends right? She can look after herself." 

"Yeah I guess," Nicky replied in a glum tone. 

"Now go and find Alex. I'm sure you two can do something to keep your mind from her." 

"Thank you Mummy." Red looked over at Nicky and smiled. She pinched her cheek before Nicky left, in search of Alex. 

00000flashback00000

Two months after meeting Lorna, Nicky decided that she needed to do something about her addiction. In the past she had used drugs as a way to forget how lonely she was for a while. However now, after meeting Lorna, she didn't feel lonely. She had tried quitting before, but she always found her way back to her beloved Heroin. Lorna knew about her Heroin addiction, after questioning her shortly after she saw Nicky with her dealer. 

Nicky dialed Lorna's number as she sat down on her sofa. Despite being an addict, she lived in a very nice apartment which her Mother paid for every month. It was definitely her way of getting rid of Nicky, their deal being that Marka would give Nicky all the money she needs so long as Nicky stays out of her way.   

After two dials, Lorna picked up the phone, greeting Nicky with her chirpy, high pitched voice.

"Hey you," replied Nicky, smiling wildly. 

"Are you okay Nicky, you sound a little tense?" 

"Actually there is something I need to talk to you about. Maybe you could come over?" 

"Sure, i'll be there in ten." The two said their goodbyes before hanging up. Nicky leaned back on her sofa, massaging her temples. She could feel a wild headache coming on. Most likely because she was beginning to crave her substance of choice. Before she knew it, the door bell rang. 

"You know you can just walk in right? Its always open," Nicky said as she opened the door. Lorna scurried in, kissing her lightly on the cheek. 

"I like to be polite. Anyway, what did you want to talk about?" Lorna sat down on the sofa that Nicky had previously been occupying. Nicky found it funny how she would always ring the doorbell to enter but then walk straight in, with her shoes still on and slump down on the sofa. That was one of the many things that attracted her to Lorna. 

"So iv'e been doing some thinking," she began. She felt slightly nervous as to Lorna's reaction. 

"I'm going to get clean." Lorna smiled brightly. 

"Is there anything you want to do to help?" Nicky was glad that Lorna had asked this. It made the next part even easier. 

"I was wondering if you could stay with me tonight and tomorrow i'm going to try and find a rehab facility." 

"Of course honey. I'll help you in anyway I can." 

00000endflashback00000

Piper walked into Lorna's office in the bar, which used to be Nicky's until she was sent to prison. 

"Are you okay Lorna?" she asked, sensitively. Lorna looked up from her paperwork. 

"Oh yeah, just trying to finish up in here." 

"Do you want to go out for a drink after?" 

"Yes. Yes I really do." 

After Lorna had finished her work she and Piper went to a local bar just down the street from hers. 'The Red Lipped Italian' had been Nicky's idea to name their bar. Lorna agreed. Although they would call it their bar, Nicky would do most of the work as Lorna had no idea as the where to start. She would sometimes help out but when Nicky was sent to prison, Lorna was chucked in at the deep end, clueless. 

Lorna and Piper occupied a booth in the corner. They were sipping from glasses of red wine. 

"So you and Larry are done for good then?" Lorna asked. 

"Yep. I made him move out and everything."

"Wow, that's a bold move. Do you have your eye on anyone else?" 

"No, I'm going to try being single for a bit." Lorna knew this wouldn't last long as Piper always had to be in a relationship with someone. 

"Anyway whilst we're talking about relationships, how was Nicky?" Piper's voice changed as she mentioned Nicky. Piper and Nicky never really got on but when Nicky was sent to prison, Piper hated her even more. 

"You would know if you were there to pick me up after," Lorna teased. After Lorna left the prison, Piper was no longer waiting for her. After several failed calls Piper had explained that she had been called into work, leaving Lorna to pay the massive taxi fare. 

"I've already apologised like ten times Lorna. Now tell me, how was your visit?" 

"It's just hard to see her in that prison uniform, getting shouted at if we hug too long. I know they don't treat her right in there. I just miss her." 

"You'll be together before you know it," said Piper, placing a hand on Lorna's shoulder. 

"We've got three years of this." 

"You know you don't have to stay with her right?" Lorna didn't want to listen to Piper's attempt to convince her that Nicky wasn't good enough. 

"No Piper. I love Nicky, I'm not going to leave her." 

"Whatever you say." 

Lorna took a large gulp from her drink. She knew tonight was going to be one of the many nights where she would lay in bed and cry herself to sleep. 

00000flashback00000

Lorna was beginning to doze in front of the television when she heard her phone ringing. She smiled when she saw it was Nicky, answering it almost immediately. 

"Hey hon," she greeted. 

"Hey you." Nicky's husky voice made Lorna's heart skip a beat. It always did that. She also picked up that Nicky sounded different. She decided to question her on it. 

"Are you okay Nicky, you sound a little tense?" 

"Actually there is something I need to talk to you about. Maybe you could come over?" 

"Sure, i'll be there in ten." 

"Okay great, i'll see you then." 

"Yeah, bye." As Lorna hung up she quickly put her coat on and left her apartment, beginning the ten minute walk to Nicky's place. 

As she reached the door she rang the door bell. Nicky would tell her every time to just walk in but Lorna would always wait to be invited in. 

"You know you can just walk in right?  Its always open." It was if Nicky could read Lorna's mind. 

"I like to be polite. Anyway, what did you want to talk about?"  As she said that she decided to sit down, she thought it would please Nicky, her showing that she felt comfortable in her presence. 

"I've been doing some thinking." Lorna began to think that this was Nicky breaking up with her. Not that they were even really dating to begin with. 

"I'm going to get clean." Before Lorna could even register exactly what Nicky had said she felt relief rush through her that Nicky wasn't ending things between them. Then, when Lorna realized what Nicky had said, she smiled. 

"Is there anything that you want me to do to help?" Lorna knew that she wanted to help Nicky in any way that she could. This was a subject that she had wanted to bring up with Nicky for a long time but she had never really had the confidence to do so. 

"I was wondering if you could stay with me tonight and tomorrow i'm going to try and find a rehab facility." 

"Of course honey. I'll help you in any way I can." Lorna knew that as soon as Nicky fell asleep she would spend all night looking over the internet for the best rehab facility for Nicky.


	4. Chapter Four

Flashback  
As Nicky woke up the next morning, the memories of last night came flashing through her mind. She remembered calling Lorna over and telling her she was going to get clean. She remembered telling Lorna she was going to go into rehab and she remembered Lorna helping her into bed. 

A sharp pain went shooting up through Nicky's head and suddenly she felt the need to throw up. She rushed over to her toilet in her un-suite bathroom and vomited her guts out. She could hear Lorna come in and hold her hair back for her. When Nicky had finally finished, she fell back and sat down on her bottom. 

"It's okay hon. I've got you. Do you want to lay back down?" Nicky nodded her head and accepted Lorna's help as she lifted her up onto her feet and let her lean on her as she went back over to her bed. 

"I'll get you a big cold glass of water and a cool cloth for your head," Lorna said as she walked out of the bedroom. 

A few moments later she returned and placed the cloth on Nicky's forehead and put the glass on top of the bedside table next to the bed. She perched on the bed next to Nicky. 

"So I stayed up last night and looked at a few rehab centers. I even spoke to a woman who said there is a space for you tomorrow. What do you think?" Nicky was surprised to hear that someone was so eager to help her. 

"You really did that for me?" 

"Of course Nicky. I can see that you want help and I want to be able to do that for you. You may of been alone before but I promise that your not alone anymore Nicky." Nicky smiled, even though she felt terrible through her withdrawal, momentarily she felt happy, knowing she had Lorna. 

00000endflashback00000

"So what are you going to do for your birthday tomorrow?" asked Piper towards Lorna, who was pulling a pint at the bar to serve a customer. She took the money he gave her before looking over at Piper. 

"Well i'm going to visit Nicky." 

"And then were going for drinks right?" 

"Yes Piper. Although I think its more for you than me," she laughed. Piper didn't reply. 

"So you and Larry are back on then?" 

"Well he came to my place with a big bouquet of flowers and my favorite box of chocolates so I decided to give him one last chance." 

"Right." before Lorna could continue, her phone rang. She answered it and got excited when she heard the prerecorded message on the other end. She pressed accept, knowing it was Nicky. 

"Nicky," Lorna greeted happily. 

"Hey baby." Lorna felt instantly comforted when she heard Nicky's husky voice. 

"How are you Nicky?" 

"I'm great you know, having an amazing time in prison," she joked. 

"Are you looking forward to your birthday tomorrow?" Nicky asked after not getting a response from her girlfriend. 

"I guess." 

"Whats wrong Lorna?" 

"We were going to go to Paris remember?" 

"I know Lorna but I promise as soon as I get out, i'll take you there." The two spoke for a few more minuets before Nicky told her she had to go. They promised to see each other the next day and told each other they loved the other before Nicky hung up. 

00000flashback00000

Lorna had stayed up all night looking for the perfect rehab center for Nicky to go to. She went to sleep early hours of the morning, satisfied that she had found her a place in a nice looking building. 

The next morning, Lorna awoke to the sound of Nicky vomiting. She quickly composed herself before rushing into the bathroom to help Nicky. 

"It's okay hon. I've got you. Do you want to lay back down?" Lorna asked as Nicky fell to the floor. Nicky nodded her head so Lorna helped her back up and into her bed. 

"I'll get you a nice cold glass of water and a cool cloth for your head." 

As Lorna returned she looked at how ill Nicky looked. Seeing her look so sick and in pain made her heart break. She placed the cloth on Nicky's head and the glass to the side. She mentally prepared herself for the conversation the two of them were about to have. She sat down on the side of the bed before she began to speak. 

"So I stayed up last night and looked at a few rehab centers. I even spoke to a woman who said there is a space for you tomorrow. What do you think?" Lorna noticed the look of surprise on Nicky's face. 

"You really did that for me?" 

"Of course Nicky. I can see that you want help and I want to be able to do that for you. You may of been alone before but I promise that your not alone anymore." She saw Nicky smile and she realized that she loved the other woman. She wanted to be there for her, through thick and through thin. 

00000endflashback00000

After Lorna and Nicky wrapped up their phone conversation, Nicky went to the canteen as dinner had just started. 

She sat down net to Alex and opposite Big Boo and Gina. 

"What are you smiling about Boo?" She asked, taking a bite of the prison slop. 

"I may or may not of made Pennsatucky my new prison wife," she smiled cockily. Alex almost spat out her food while Nicky burst into laughter. 

"I thought she was very anti-gay. You know she shut me in the washing machine when she saw me kissing a girl right?" Nicky laughed even harder remembering the sight of a very tall Alex hunched over in a washing machine. Alex stood on Nicky's foot getting her to stop. 

"Well I guess she's changed then." They stopped talking when they saw Piscatella shove Red onto the floor. Nicky stood up. 

"Leave her alone!" 

"Hey watch what your mouth Inmate, otherwise you'll go straight to shu." Despite the pleas from her friends at the table and now Red, Nicky decided to ignore what he had said. 

"No. I can't just sit and watch you treat her like shit. All of us like shit. We're still people too." Several others began cheering and joining in. Piscatella looked Nicky square in the eye before ordering another CO to take her to the shu. He grabbed her by the arm and began to drag Nicky away. Just as she left the canteen she remembered that it was Lorna's birthday the next day and she was supposed to be coming to visit. She mentally kicked herself, with no idea as to what she would do now.


	5. Chapter Five

Minuets, hours, days? Nicky had no idea how long she had been in the SHU for. Time moved differently down there. By the fact that she had just been given 'breakfast', she assumed it was the next day. Lorna's birthday. She stared at the meatloaf, trying to stop her self loathing, negative thinking. In one mind she shouldn't of said anything to Piscatella, then was she wouldn't be in there and she could be visiting Lorna, but in another mind she was glad she said something. How the new guards had been treating them was appalling and she couldn't bare to watch the woman she called her mother, getting treated like that. 

The screaming from the cells either side from her was a welcoming distraction, it was so loud it was blocking her mind from thinking of anything else. Her and Lorna were supposed to be in Paris right now. She wished she could go back in time and stop herself from making the horrible decisions that landed her in prison. She had been doing so well, she had a beautiful girlfriend, a luxurious apartment, a well earning bar but most importantly she was clean. At some point, things had gotten tough so she smoked a joint. Then she began to get the taste for it, he junkie intuition took over and she craved more. So she met up with her old dealer and brought a small bag. When she took it she wanted more, and more, and more. And when she stole a taxi to get more, she crashed it and that's how she ended up in prison and now her big mouth had landed her in SHU, on her girlfriend's birthday. 

When she heard a CO walking around outside her cell she stood up and went over to the door. She began to bang on the it to get his attention. 

"Shut up Inmate!" he shouted at her. 

"Please, I need to use the phone." 

"No way. Be quite." 

"Please. It's my girls birthday she was supposed to visit, she has no idea that i'm in here. She will think iv'e forgotten about her," she begged, determined to be able to call her. 

"Okay then. Shall I get you a pizza too?" he snarled at her. For a moment Nicky thought he was being serious but when he added the part about the pizza, she knew there was no way she was going to be calling Lorna. She slumped back down to the floor, trying not to cry but in the end she gave up, allowing months of emotion to come out all at once. 

00000flashback00000

Two months. That's how long Nicky had been in the rehab center for. As she stepped out of the building she was met by Lorna holding a 'congratulations' helium balloon. They embraced in a tight hug. Lorna nestled her head on Nicky's shoulder before looking Nicky in the eye. 

"I'm so proud of you Nicky. You've done so well." Nicky smiled. No one had ever spoken to her like that before. 

"I wouldn't of been able to do it without you." 

Nicky was actually telling the truth when she said that. Rehab had been hard. The withdrawal had been hard. Nicky remembered her first night, curled up by the toilet, vomiting her guts out. The headaches, the nausea, sweating and the hallucinations but she knew that at the end of it all she had Lorna waiting for her. That's what made her recovery easier than any other time before. 

"Can I take you out for a meal?" Nicky asked. She watched as Lorna's face lit up. 

"I would love you to." 

Later that evening Nicky took Lorna to a seafood restaurant. As they ate Nicky noticed Lorna watching her. 

"Something the matter?" she asked, afraid of what the answer may be. 

"I was just thinking." 

"About what?" 

"How beautiful sobriety looks on you."  Nicky began to laugh but soon stopped when she realized Lorna was being serious. 

"I mean you looked beautiful before. But now you look fresh, happy." Nicky smiled, no one had ever treated her like this before. She knew that they were sort of dating but she wanted to make sure things were official. She didn't want anyone else to be able to claim her. 

"Can I ask you something Lorna?" 

"Sure," she nodded. 

"I don't really know where we stand and I want to know who we are to each other."

"Your confusing me. What do you mean?" 

"I mean, will you be my girlfriend." Lorna jumped up from her seat and kissed Nicky passionately on the lips, ignoring the looks they were getting from other diners. 

"Is that a yes?" Nicky asked, briefly pulling away from the kiss. 

"Yes," murmured Lorna, before going back to kissing her. 

00000endflashback00000

"Lorna, it's your birthday. Will you at least pretend that your having fun?" Piper teased. The two were at a restaurant with two other friends Polly and Jessica. As Piper was unable to take Lorna to visit Nicky, she took a bus. However when Nicky never came, Lorna left, feeling used. She had yet to tell anyone. 

Five hours earlier, Lorna went through the usual safety checks before she went to visit Nicky. She entered the visitation room and took the table in the corner, the table they always used. At least in the corner they were able to forget the other Inmates that were also there. They could imagine that they were elsewhere. They liked to pretend that they were in their favorite restaurant. The place where Nicky first asked Lorna to be her girlfriend. 

A steady flow of Inmates began to enter the visitation room. On one of their first visits Lorna questioned Nicky as to why they came in one at a time and when Nicky told her about the 'squat and cough' Lorna wished she hadn't. She couldn't help but think of every Inmate that came into the room had just had their pants round their ankles, squatting, while coughing with someone looking up their 'private parts', as Lorna liked to call them. Lorna would laugh at Nicky every time she came in, Nicky always had a look of disgust on her face. Lorna sat through the whole visitation waiting for Nicky, thinking that she would frantically come through the door apologizing with a reasonable explanation as to why she was late. But she never came. She never called either. Lorna felt humiliated, having to sit there alone, with no one showing up. 

"She never came did she?" asked Piper sensitively to Lorna. Lorna looked up at her friends worried expression, remembering where she was. Also knowing that this was her's and Nicky's place. They went there the night before Nicky went to prison and when they first got together. 

"No." 

"I'm sure there is a reasonable explanation," Polly reasoned. But they didn't know Nicky like Lorna did. Lorna knew Nicky would never miss visitation, especially on her birthday. It made her wonder what had happened. Had Nicky found someone else? Had she gotten herself into even more trouble?   

"But she's never missed it before. She didn't even call to apologize later." 

"You know what Lorna," began Jessica. 

"Nicky's not here right now. She could be but she made some stupid mistakes and now shes paying for them. But do you know who is here? We are and so are you. So please just forget about her for one night and have fun with your friends, who are here, on your birthday." Lorna thought about what Jessica had said. Maybe just for one night she could forget. As she thought that she saw her ex boyfriend walk through the doors. He looked over and smiled at her. The smile that would always melt her heart. The smile that was so similar to Nicky's, but not as bright. 

00000flashback00000

For Lorna, today was the day that things could change. Finally Nicky was getting out of rehab after two months of hard work. She decided that before she went to meet Nicky, she would pick something up for her. 

First she went to a flower shop but decided that flowers were not Nicky's thing and wouldn't last too long so instead she brought her a huge helium balloon. It was tacky she knew, but it would last longer than flowers and she knew that every time Nicky looked at it and saw 'congratulations' printed on the front, she would be reminded of how well she had done. 

Lorna waited for Nicky by the front of the rehab center, clutching the balloon tightly in her hand. When she saw Nicky, they hugged. Lorna, nestled her head on Nicky's shoulder. An action that she had missed doing. 

"I'm so proud of you Nicky. You've done so well." Lorna watched as Nicky smiled. Nicky's smile was similar to her ex's. It was bright and would show teeth, however Nicky's smile felt more genuine. 

"I wouldn't of been able to do it without you," replied Nicky. 

"Can I take you out for a meal?" asked Nicky. Nicky was always such a gentleman. 

"I would love you to." 

Nicky took Lorna to a seafood restaurant. As they sat eating, Lorna could't take her eyes from Nicky. For the first time since Nicky had left rehab Lorna allowed herself to look at Nicky properly. She looked very different to the person she did when she went in. 

"Something the matter?" Lorna realized that she had been looking at Nicky a little too long, making Nicky feel uncomfortable. 

"I was just thinking," she replied, finally. 

"About what?" 

"How beautiful sobriety looks on you," as she said it she thought it probably sounded a little weird especially when Nicky started laughing but Lorna kept her face straight, wanting Nicky to know what she was serious. Lorna decided to continue talking when Nicky said nothing. 

"I mean you looked beautiful before. But now you look fresh, happy." Nicky smiled again, making Lorna feel everything she always did . 

"Can I ask you something?" Lorna panicked, had she overstepped her mark? 

"Sure." 

"I don't really know where we stand and I want to know who we are to each other." 

"Your confusing me. What do you mean?" Lorna thought she had an idea as to what Nicky was trying to say, but she wanted to hear her say it. 

"I mean, will you be my girlfriend?" Lorna was so glad that Nicky had said what she thought she was saying. Lorna had never been with a girl before but she knew that she loved the girl in front of her. Lorna jumped up from her seat and kissed Nicky on the lips. 

"Is that a yes?" Nicky asked as she pulled away from the kiss for a moment. 

"Yes."


	6. Chapter Six

Flashback   
Lorna brought in her tenth and final box. She looked up at Nicky who was looking at a lamp that Lorna had already put on a table in the corner. After dating for six months, Nicky asked Lorna to move in with her and of course Lorna said yes. 

"You really want to keep that lamp?" Nicky asked Lorna. Lorna could see Nicky's eyes looking the lamp up and down. It reminded Lorna of a boyfriend looking another person up and down if they were seen flirting with their girlfriend. 

"What do you mean?" Lorna loved the lamp, she had, had it for years. 

"Well it's a bit..." 

"A bit what?" 

"You know..." 

"No I don't know," Lorna was beginning to get frustrated. 

"Well it's a bit...hideous." Lorna could tell Nicky was nervous so she decided to play around with Nicky for a little bit. 

"How can you say that?" Lorna tried to act offended and angry without bursting out laughing. 

"Look at it. It looks like it belongs in a 1970s house." 

"My Grandmother got that for me, before she died," Lorna raised her voice. 

"Oh. I'm sorry. You can keep it I guess." Lorna looked at Nicky for a moment. 

"I'm leaving." 

"No. Please don't. Keep the lamp okay. When I think about it, it's not actually that bad," Nicky begged. Lorna considered keeping it going for even longer but she couldn't do it to Nicky any longer. The look of sadness on her face was too much. 

"I'm just joking Nicky," Lorna smiled. She watched confusion wash over Nicky's face. 

"What?" 

"I know the lamp is hideous. I just wanted to wind you up." 

"Do you know what i'm going to do to you for that?" Nicky asked seductively, raising her eyebrow slightly. 

"Why don't you show me," she suggested. Nicky picked Lorna up and pushed her against a wall, kissing her hard. They didn't make any more progress unpacking that night. 

00000endflashback00000

Lorna watched as her ex boyfriend, Vince Muccio, came over to the table of four girls. 

"Hello Lorna," he said. Lorna wasn't sure whether to reply or not. 

"Hey." She decided to reply, not wanting to be rude. Her Mother had always taught her that no matter how you feel about the person, it's always polite to be ladylike. 

"Happy birthday by the way." Lorna was shocked that he remembered after all those years. Even Nicky hadn't remembered. 

"Oh thank you. I'm surprised you remembered though." 

"Of course I did. We spent a lot of years together." Jessica was watching the interaction carefully. 

"Why don't you sit down with us?" she offered. She thought this was the perfect way to distract Lorna. The two were very much in love before he cheated on her. Jessica was never very keen on Nicky so she hoped that Lorna and Vince could re-kindle. 

He took her up on the offer at sat in a chair opposite Lorna. The chair that Nicky would always sit in. This was their restaurant and she didn't like the fact that other people were there and Nicky wasn't. 

"Excuse me one moment. I need to use the toilet," she excused herself. Jessica followed. 

Lorna stood in front of the mirror. When she saw Jessica, she began to question her. 

"Why would you do that? You know i'm with Nicky." 

"Lorna. You don't have to make out with him. Just talk, as friends. It will help keep you distracted." After a little bit more convincing, Lorna agreed to go back in ant talk to Vince. Jessica dragged Piper and Polly away. 

"So how are you?" Lorna asked. 

"I'm good. And you?" 

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine." Lorna felt very awkward. 

"So are you seeing anyone?" asked Vince. 

"Actually I am." 

So who's the lucky guy?" 

"Actually Vinny, she's a woman." Lorna realized that she had just used the nickname that she used to call him. She felt slightly embarrassed. 

"Oh wow. I had no idea." 

"Yeah well when I met her I knew that she was who I had been looking for all my life." 

"Where is she now then?" 

"She's actually in prison right now." Lorna watched as his face looked shocked and worried. 

"Relax. Nicky's not a murderer or anything. It was just a problem with drugs and she's in a minimum security prison so..." 

"Why don't we go for coffee at some point." Lorna looked unsure and he noticed that. 

"No. Just as friends," he added. 

"Okay, yeah. I'd like that." 

It means nothing, Lorna thought to herself. Just friends. Besides, who knows what Nicky's up to right now. 

00000flashback00000

Nicky watched in amazement as Lorna brought through her tenth box. Although Nicky was so excited for Lorna to be moving in, she couldn't help but wonder if perhaps she was a little to hasty in asking her. Then an awful looking lamp sat on Nicky's coffee table caught her eye. 

"You really want to keep that lamp?" she asked, hoping her answer would be no. 

"What do you mean?" 

"Well it's a bit..." Ugly, awful, horrendous. Nicky didn't know how to finish the sentence so she decided to just leave it. 

"A bit what?" Great, she thought. Whatever she was going to say she was certain would offend Lorna. 

"You know..." She hoped she would't have to say anything else. That Lorna would just get what she meant. However in true Lorna fashion, she didn't. 

"No I don't." Nicky could tell Lorna was getting frustrated. 

"Well it's a bit...hideous." As soon as Nicky said that, she mentally kicked herself, knowing that this would surely make Lorna mad. 

"How can you say that?" Lorna sounded offended. 

"Look at it. It looks like it belongs in a 1970s house." Nicky was determined not to step down. 

"My Grandmother got that for me, before she died." Nicky began to panic. Lorna was obviously upset with her now. Way to go Nicky. 

"Oh. I'm sorry. You can keep it I guess." Nicky really didn't like the lamp but she didn't want to cause any problems between the two. It was their first night living together after all. 

"I'm leaving." As soon as she said that Nicky's heart stopped. 

"No please don't. Keep the lamp okay. When I think about it, it's not actually that bad," Nicky knew that Lorna would know would she was lying but she couldn't let Lorna leave on their first night. 

"I'm just kidding Nicky." Nicky watched Lorna smile as she felt all the blood rush from her head. 

"What?" 

"I know the lamp is hideous. I just wanted to wind you up." Nicky didn't know if she was more happy about the fact that the lamp probably wouldn't be staying or the fact that Lorna was. 

"Do you know what i'm going to do to you for that?" Now it wad Nicky's turn to torment Lorna. 

"Why don't you show me?" Nicky was glad Lorna was playing along. So, Nicky picked up Lorna and pushed her against a wall, letting all her feelings take over. 

00000endflashback00000

Two and a half weeks later Nicky was finally released from SHU. She walked into the loving arms of Red. Nicky felt physically and mentally exhausted but she knew there was one thing she had to sort out first. 

"Lorna must hate me Ma," she muttered into Red's shoulder. 

"It's not your fault Nicky. If you explain what happened, she will forgive you." 

"But I missed visitation. On her birthday and I haven't called her in over two weeks." 

"Go and call her now while it's still phone time." 

"Okay. Thank you." Red kissed Nicky on the forehead before Nicky rushed off. 

Nicky tried Lorna's number three times but each time it just rung out. She decided to try calling Piper instead. She was so thankful when she heard Piper's stuck up voice on the other end of the receiver. 

"Piper," Nicky began, sure of the verbal abuse she was about to receive.

"Oh so you can call me but you can't call your girlfriend. Do you know how upset she's been. And on her birthday. You don't deserve her." Nicky knew she had to shut Piper up before the woman went on a full rant and used up all of Nicky's phone time before she had managed to clear her name. 

"Just shut up for one minuet will you?" When Piper never replied, Nicky decided to continue. 

"Of course I wanted to see her but I was in the SHU. Your not aloud visitation or phone calls in there." 

"What's SHU?" Piper asked dumbly. 

"Solitary. Look is Lorna there. I really need to speak to her." Piper called for Lorna and Nicky held her breath. 

"Nicky," said Lorna sternly. 

"Hey." Nicky was nervous. 

"Where were you Nicky. I sat there for the whole time and you never came. You didn't even call and use an excuse. Do you not care about me anymore?" 

"No Lorna. Of course I care. I was sent to SHU. There was nothing I could do." Nicky could hear her sigh in relief down the other end of the receiver. 

"I had no idea. I thought you had forgotten me. I thought you moved on." 

"No. Never." 

"What did you do?" 

"I stood up for Red." 

"What happened to her." 

"Piscatella happened. He's been treating her like shit for weeks. I had to say something."

"Your always protecting the people you love." Nicky chuckled. A guard declared phone time was over. 

"I have to go." 

"Can I see you this weekend?" 

"Looking forward to it already. I love you." 

"I love you too." Nicky put down the phone, feeling satisfied that she and Lorna had made amends.


	7. Chapter Seven

"What do you mean you can't take me?" Lorna asked Piper over the phone. 

"I'm sorry. My car broke down."

"How am I meant to see Nicky now?" 

"I guess it will be payback, for when she bailed on you." 

"You know that wasn't her fault." 

"Look i'm sorry. You could always ask Vinny." Could she? Lorna said goodbye and hung up. It's not like it would mean anything. They were friends and it meant that she would be able to see Nicky. That was all that mattered right? 

Lorna: Hey Vinny. I hope you don't mind me messaging you but I have a favor I really need to ask you. 

She pressed send on the text and waited a few seconds until he replied. He was always so quick at replying to messages, she thought. 

Vinny: It's no problem at all. What can I do for you? 

Lorna: I wouldn't ask you if I had another choice but I was wondering if you could take me to see Nicky. Piper's car broke down so she can't and I don't really have anyone else that I can ask. 

Vinny: Sure. I'll be over to pick you up in ten? 

Lorna: Thank you so much. 

Lorna put her phone down on the side and sat anxiously waiting for him to come. They had been out a couple of times since that night in the restaurant and they had been getting along well. Lorna had told him everything that had gone on with Nicky and he was really good about it. Just friends right? 

Lorna got into Vinny's small green car. He had, had that car for years, since before they broke up. 

"So you and Nicky are good then?" he asked her as they stopped at a traffic light. 

"Yeah. She explained why she didn't come." 

"Look Lorna it's none of my business to poke around but are you sure this relationship is good for you?" Lorna couldn't believe that he had just asked her that. First her friends then her ex boyfriend. Lorna couldn't understand why none of them liked Nicky. She always treated her so well.

"Why do you say that?" 

"Because she's in prison. She can't look after you while she's in there. And the fact that she's in prison must mean that she's done something bad." 

"Nicky didn't hurt anyone." Lorna tried her hardest to defend Nicky. 

"I'm not saying that she is a bad person Lorna, i'm just saying that she can't do anything for you in there. You can't have a proper relationship with her there." Lorna had really had enough of his judgment. 

"You don't know anything about her, or my relationship with her. She is a good person and a good girlfriend. She had her problems, yes, but shes the only one I want. And at least shes not cheating on me." Lorna raised her eyebrow as she said the last bit, a trick she had picked up from Nicky. They drove in silence for the rest of the journey. 

0000flashback00000

"Say that again?" questioned Nicky as she poured herself and Lorna a mug of coffee. They had been living together for three months before Lorna suggested they do something that completely left Nicky out of her comfort zone.

"I want you to meet my parents." Lorna took the mug and took one big gulp before putting it back down on the side and taking a seat next to Nicky on a stool in front of the kitchen island. 

"I don't think that's a good idea." 

"Why not?" 

"Well for starters, their Catholic, and i'm Jewish." 

"I'm Catholic too." 

"I guess but that's different. And they weren't exactly accepting when you told them about me."

"Well they are coming round to the idea and they want to meet you." 

"I'm just not sure it will end well. I'm not exactly the right material to bring home to your family." 

"Nicky, I love you. That's all that matters to them." 

The following weekend they were going over to Lorna's parents house. Lorna walked into their bedroom in order to get her shoes when she saw Nicky starring into the floor length mirror with her top off. Lorna was confused as to what Nicky was doing but she could detect the look of sadness in Nicky's eyes so she approached her with care. Lorna stood behind her and wrapped her arms around her neck, resting her head on Nicky's shoulder. When Nicky didn't notice Lorna being there, she decided to question her as to what was wrong. 

"Something the matter Nicky?" Nicky didn't reply. Lorna's mind began to wonder. Have I done something wrong? Has she hurt herself? Has someone else hurt her? Has she got drugs? Is she high? 

"I don't think you should take me to your parents house," Nicky mumbled finally. 

"Why not?" Lorna pressed lightly. She didn't want to push Nicky too far, but she wanted to find out what was wrong with her girlfriend. Although Nicky didn't reply, Lorna watched as her eyes fluttered down to the large scar between Nicky's breasts. Lorna's heart broke when she realized what was upsetting Nicky. 

"Oh honey." 

"I don't have anything to show for myself. I'm not the kind of person that they are going to want you to be with." 

"Nicky, I love you. I love you so much. I don't care about your past. You offer me so much love, that is all they are going to care about." 

"I'm not a good person. I have upset so many people." Lorna tried not to cry. She had no idea Nicky felt this way about herself. 

"This ugly scar is a constant reminder of all the awful decisions and choices I have made," she continued. Lorna didn't want to hear anymore of Nicky's self hate. 

"Stop Nicky. That scar is a constant reminder that you came out of that period of your life. You made it Nicky. You have made it out alive and I am so proud of you. There is no one else that I want to be with other than you. You make me so happy Nicky. I love every part of you. Even your scar." 

00000endflashback00000

Nicky anxiously waited upon visiting hour. She was sat on her bed reading a magazine that was six years out of date. 

"Lorna's coming today right?" asked Alex as she entered Nicky's bunk. She sat down next to Nicky as she closed the magazine she had been reading and placed it on the pillow beside her. 

"Yeah. Why?" Nicky thought she had an idea as to why her best friend was asking her. 

"Is Piper taking her?" Nicky chuckled. 

"I have no idea. Why, you want to meet her?" 

"You know I think she's gorgeous. At some point i'm going to get out of here and it would be nice if there was a pretty looking lady waiting for me." 

"Oh Vause. I'll be there." Nicky laughed. Alex punched her lightly on the arm. 

"You know what I mean Nichols. You have someone, why can't I?" Nicky noticed the hint of sadness in her eyes. She felt a small amount of sympathy for the taller woman. 

"Why don't I put in a good word with Lorna. I can't guarantee anything though. I mean she hates me because i'm in prison so she's probably not going to be jumping at the idea about you either. Plus she's hard work." 

"Nicky, I think I love her." At this point Nicky completely lost it. She quietened down slightly when a guard told her to shut up or he would give her a shot. 

"Alex, how can you be in love with her. You've only ever seen a picture of her." 

"Okay," Alex began. Nicky knew that Alex was going to go into one of her long speeches again. 

"Maybe I don't love her, not yet anyway, but I just want someone who will be there for me. More so than a friend. After I lost my Mum I've just felt so alone. The only other relationship I've been in was with Sylvia and she practically turned me into the police." Before Alex could say anything more Nicky said something. 

"Look i'll put in a good word. You never know, we could go on a double prison date." 

"Thank you Nicky." For Nicky , this was getting too sappy so she decided to put an end to it. 

"Anyway, i'm going to take a dump before Lorna comes." Nicky stood up and left Alex sitting on her bunk. 

00000flashback00000

Nicky couldn't believe what Lorna had just said. 

"Say that again?" she asked, hoping it was just her mind plating tricks on her and instead it was just Lorna asking her what she wanted for dinner. 

"I want you to meet my parents." She really had said it. Nicky knew that this would be coming but she wanted to delay it for as long as possible. 

"I don't think that's a good idea." 

"Why not?" 

"Well for starters, their Catholic, and i'm Jewish." This defiantly wasn't Nicky's only reason for not wanting to meet them but she hoped it would be enough to but her some more time. Of course it didn't work. 

"I'm Catholic too," Lorna always had a comeback for everything, she thought to herself. 

"I guess but that's different. And they weren't exactly accepting when you told them about me." Nicky hoped that this would put Lorna off. 

"Well they are coming round to the idea and they want to meet you." 

"I'm just not sure it will end well. I'm not exactly the right material to bring home to your family." Nicky tried a different approach that time. Even then, it didn't work. 

"Nicky I love you. That's all that matters to them." 

The morning that they were due to go to Lorna's parents house, Nicky found herself in her bedroom, with her top off, looking in the bedroom mirror. The real reason that Nicky didn't want to meet them was because she was ashamed of who she once was, she was worried that she wouldn't be what they wanted for their daughter. She looked at her scar in between her breasts. It would always be a painful reminder of the bad choices she had made in her life. 

"Something the matter Nicky?" Nicky had only noticed that Lorna had come in when she wrapped her arms around her neck and laid her head down on her shoulder, an action Nicky always loved. 

"I don't think you should take me to your parents house." She thought about not replying at all but she knew that Lorna needed to hear something. 

"Why not?" Lorna asked. Nicky looked back down at her scar. She didn't want to say what she was thinking but she hoped Lorna would soon realize. 

"Oh honey," Lorna said finally. Nicky was glad she was able to know what she was thinking. 

"I don't have anything to show for myself. I'm not the kind of person that they are going to want you to be with." Lorna was the only person Nicky felt she could be honest to. She had spent years building up walls to keep people out but this past few months she had let Lorna in and she had no idea how she felt about it. 

"Nicky I love you. I love you so much. I don't care about your past. You offer me so much love, that is all they are going to care about." Nicky tried to believe Lorna's words, but she had hard time doing so. 

"I'm not a good person. I have upset so many people. This ugly scar is a constant reminder of all the awful decisions I have made." 

"Stop Nicky. That scar is a constant reminder that you came out of that period of your life. You made it Nicky. You have made it out alive and I am so proud of you. There is no one else that I want to be with other than you. You make me so happy Nicky. I love every part of you. Even your scar." Nicky had never imagined herself with someone like Lorna but in that moment Nicky knew that she only ever wanted to be with her.


	8. Chapter Eight

Flashback   
As they stood outside the Morello house Nicky looked over at Lorna. 

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" 

"Yes Nicky. Like I said earlier, so long as i'm happy, they will be too." Before Nicky could attempt to put Lorna off anymore, she had rung to doorbell. This is it, she thought. After what felt life hours of waiting, to Nicky, a middle aged woman with hair very similar to Lorna's opened the door. She smiled a very similar smile as Lorna's before welcoming the two in. Her eyes were covered in a dark purple eye shadow and she wore a dark red and blue floral top tucked into a knee length purple skirt. It was a bold look but Nicky thought she looked very well put together. 

"Honey they're here," she called out behind her as she took their coats. This time a man appeared from the living room. He looked older than the woman. His hair was ragged and he had a slight grey stubble. 

"Nicky this is my Mother Stansie and this is my Father Giuseppe. Mum, Dad, this is my girlfriend Nicky," Lorna introduced, pointing between the three of them. 

"It's good to meet you Nicky," said Stansie as she shook Nicky's hand. Giuseppe did the same. 

"You too," replied Nicky. While she still felt nervous she felt at ease slightly knowing they seemed friendly. 

"Why don't you come through to the kitchen and meet the others," Stansie suggested. She and Giuseppe began to walk towards the kitchen with Lorna and Nicky following a little way behind. 

"I didn't know there was more," whispered Nicky into Lorna's ear. 

"I'm sorry hon, I didn't know everyone would be here." 

As they entered the kitchen Nicky realized that Lorna hadn't grown up as privileged as she had however she defiantly hadn't gone without her parents love. The kitchen was small and in the corner was a table, with four more people sat around. 

"Nicky," began Lorna. 

"This is my Sister Francine." Lorna pointed to a woman who looked older than Lorna, she had long brown hair, slightly lighter than Lorna's and her Mother's, who was bouncing a toddler on her left knee. 

"This is her Son Thomas and her Husband Jack." Lorna pointed to the toddler and then to the man sat to the left of Francine. 

"And finally this is my little brother Mikey." Mikey was sat at the end of the table with his phone in his hand. He could only be about ten or eleven, Nicky thought. Nicky felt very overwhelmed and wanted to leave but with one look at Lorna, she knew for her sake, she had to stay. 

00000endflashback00000

"Squat and cough," ordered CO Bell. Nicky pulled her granny panties down to her ankles and squatted down in front of Bell. She forced herself to cough. 

"You can do better than that Inmate," jeered Bell. Nicky did it again. She seemed more satisfied this time. She was instructed to pull her pants back up. She was patted down and then told she could go into the visiting room. 

She walked in and instantly saw Lorna sitting down. Their eyes met and Lorna rushed up to see Nicky. They embraced in a tight hug. Nicky kissed Lorna on the lips. 

"That's enough Nichols," shouted Luschek who was sat in a comfy chair by the door. Reluctantly, Nicky let Lorna go and sat down in the seat opposite where Lorna had been. Lorna sat back down before grabbing Nicky's hand and holding it tightly. Nicky rubbed circles on it. 

"So how are you?" Nicky asked after a few seconds of just gazing into each others eyes. 

"Yeah i'm good, and you?" 

"Fine. Look Lorna I am so sorry about what happened. If I could've spoken to you I would've done so." 

"I know honey. It's fine." 

"Are you sure?" 

"Positive." replied Lorna, giving her a sincere smile. They spoke for another ten minuets before there was a knocking at the glass window that looked into the prison. Nicky turned around and saw Alex looking in.

"Remember to ask her," she mouthed. Nicky nodded her head and looked back over Lorna. 

"Listen Lorna. Alex wants me to ask you if you could put in a good word for her to Piper." 

"Is Piper even gay?" Lorna laughed. 

"I know, I tried to tell her but she keeps bugging me about it. Is she still with Larry?" 

"I think they broke up again so i'll mention it to her." Nicky looked back over at Alex who was watching and stuck her thumb up. Alex mouthed a thank you before walking away from the window. 

"I'll talk to her when I see her tomorrow," promised Lorna. A look of confusion struck across Nicky's face. 

"What do you mean tomorrow. Didn't she bring you here?" 

"No. Her car broke down," explained Lorna calmly. 

"Did you take the bus?" 

"No." 

"How did you get here then?" 

"Vinny brought me." 

"Wait, Vinny? Your ex?" Nicky wanted Lorna to tell her what she had heard was all wrong. 

"Yeah." 

"I can't believe this." Nicky stood up. 

"I need to go," she said as she walked away. 

"Nicky wait, please. Whats wrong?" pleaded Lorna. Nicky didn't listen as she stormed out of the visitation room. The truth was that Nicky wasn't upset that Vinny had taken Lorna to see her but instead she felt threatened. Vinny could give Lorna what she couldn't and that really worried her. 

00000flashback00000

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Nicky asked Lorna. 

"Yes Nicky. Like I said earlier, so long as i'm happy, they will be too." Lorna rung the doorbell before Nicky could try to talk her out of it anymore. Her Mother answered the door an let the two of them in. To Lorna, Stansie hadn't changed a bit since she last saw her. 

"Honey they're here." Her Father entered from the living room. Lorna decided to take it upon herself to do the introductions. 

"Nicky this is my Mother Stansie and this is my Father Giuseppe. Mum, Dad, this is my girlfriend Nicky." Lorna made sure she added in the 'girlfriend' part to show Nicky that they were okay with it. 

"It's good to meet you Nicky." Lorna watched as her Mother and Father both greeted Nicky. She was pleased. 

"You too." She could sense that Nicky had relaxed a little. 

"Why don't you come through to the kitchen and meet the others," said Stansie. Lorna knew that there was going to be more than just two but she didn't want to tell Nicky, she didn't want to make her even more nervous. 

"I didn't know there was more," Nicky whispered. 

"I'm sorry hon, I didn't know everyone would be here," she lied. 

When they entered the kitchen Lorna began to remember various parts of her childhood. She would spend most of her time in here, watching her Mother cook and occasionally helping her. 

"Nicky, this is my Sister Francine. This is her Son Thomas and her Husband Jack." They had been living there for about two years, since Jack had lost his job and they could no longer afford the rent of their apartment. Francine had Thomas on her knee, an action Stansie used to do when Lorna was a baby. 

"And finally this is my little Brother Mikey." Mikey was ten and was a nightmare. As the middle child, Lorna used to always get the blame for things he would do. 

Lorna looked over at Nicky. She could see that she was still uncertain but she was so happy that Nicky was trying and she felt proud to take her back to her childhood home. 

00000endflashback00000

Lorna ran back to Vinny's car, with tears streaming down her cheeks. She got into the passengers side. Vinny was reading a book but soon put it down when he noticed Lorna's tears. 

"Lorna, goodness, whats wrong?" he asked, concerned. 

"Nothing. Can you just take me home please." Lorna felt embarrassed to be crying in front of him and she didn't want to give anyone else another reason to hate Nicky. After a few minuets of silence, Vinny spoke up. 

"Do you remember our first date?" he asked. 

"No," she replied. Of course she did, it was the first ever date she had been on, but she didn't feel like reliving the past in that moment. She just wanted to get home, and roll into a small ball in her bed. The bed she used to sleep in with Nicky, she reminded herself. 

"Well I do," he began. 

"I sat at that restaurant for an hour before you came. I thought you had bailed on me. But as soon as you walked into the restaurant, I didn't mind the wait. You wore that beautiful red dress. You looked so gorgeous." 

"Will you take me back to your place?" Lorna asked. 

"Sure," he replied, smiling at her. 

Lorna sat down on Vinny's battered sofa in his apartment. 

"Can I get you a drink?" he asked, walking into the kitchen area. 

"I'll have a water please," she replied politely. He got her a bottle from the fridge and poured it into a glass. He returned shortly and passed it to her. She took a few sips before placing it on the coffee table in front. 

"So what happened today then Lorna? I know something is bothering you." He sounded nervous, unsure as to how she would answer. 

"It's just Nicky." 

"What has she done now?" he asked with a tone of annoyance. He really didn't like the sound of this Nicky person. 

"I told her that you took me to see her and she got mad at me and then left." 

"Look Lorna, she doesn't sound like she's good for you." 

"No Vinny. I love Nicky. She's always treated me so well. It's probably just being in that place is putting pressure on her," she defended. 

"You won't want to hear this, but I care about you Lorna. A lot. I don't want to see you getting hurt again and again and again." Lorna scoffed.

"Really? So you didn't think cheating on me would hurt me?" 

"I am so sorry Lorna. I felt so bad about it after. Iv'e never stopped loving you Lorna." 

Lorna couldn't believe what she was hearing. She loved Nicky, she knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Nicky. However Nicky wasn't there. They couldn't be like a normal couple. They couldn't do the things that Lorna craved. Vinny could. Vinny could lover her. He could kiss her. He could spoon her in bed, make her breakfast. Nicky couldn't do that and Lorna didn't know how much longer she could cope with not having that. She wanted that closeness with someone, the closeness that she couldn't have with Nicky at that time. 

Vinny leaned into Lorna. He placed his hand on her left check, an action Nicky would always do, and kissed her. Lorna thought about leaning back, stopping it before it became something. So instead of stopping him, she kissed him back and for a moment she forgot about Nicky, her sole focus was on Vinny and it felt good.


	9. Chapter Nine

Stop Lorna, stop, she thought to herself. But she couldn't. She couldn't pull away. Her mind was telling her to stop, begging her to stop. She didn't. They only stopped when Vinny pulled away. 

"I wasn't expecting you to kiss me back," he said, out of breath. Instead of replying, Lorna took another sip of water. She was trying to process what had just happened but the trouble was, she wasn't sure. Her mind felt hazy, the whole ordeal was a blur. She didn't know what to say, so instead she didn't say anything. 

Lorna stood up and tried to leave. She felt a hand on her shoulder. 

"What does this mean Lorna?" he asked her, desperately. 

"It means I love Nicky. I want to be with Nicky, not you," she defended. She didn't want to do anything to upset Nicky anymore. 

"You kissed me Lorna." 

"No Vinny. You kissed me," she corrected, trying to leave again. He pulled her back. 

"But you didn't pull back." 

"I didn't know what to do okay. Now please let me leave." She tried once again to leave, this time he let her. 

She got a cab back home and she immediately picked up her phone and sent Piper a message. 

Lorna: Can you come over? 

It only took the other few seconds to reply. 

Piper: Sure. I'll be there in ten. 

Lorna placed her phone back down, pleased that Piper was going to come over. She needed something to distract her. She didn't necessarily want to tell Piper everything about what happened but she needed someone to distract her. 

Piper never knocked, she would always let herself in. So when Lorna startled awake at the sound of someone entering she knew it was Piper. Lorna looked down at her watch, realising she had fallen asleep. 

"Sorry, I guess I'm quite tired," she apologised. Piper took a seat next to Lorna. 

"Why did you call me over?" Piper asked, getting straight to the point like she always did. 

"Well actually Nicky told me something today." For now, Lorna didn't want to tell Piper what had happened. 

"Go on." Piper would always worry when Nicky was mentioned, she had never really liked her best friends girlfriend. 

"So I know that you and Larry are done. For now," she muttered the last bit under her breath, knowing what the blonde was like. Piper didn't seem to pick up on it though, so Lorna decided to continue. 

"Nicky was telling me about her friend, Alex, and she seems to really like you." 

"A prisoner?" Piper asked, with a tone of disgust evident in her voice. 

"I really don't like that word," she didn't like to think about her Nicky that away. 

"A convict then." 

"Maybe next time I go to visit Nicky, you could come along and see Alex." 

"I'm not gay Lorna."

"I'm not saying you have to date, just be friends. She probably needs someone looking out for her on the outside." 

"I'll consider it. As friends," she emphasised. 

00000flashback00000

Introducing Nicky to her friends was something that Lorna was even more nervous about than when she introduced her to her family. They entered the bar. Lorna looked around for her friends. It took her a few seconds but soon enough she saw Piper, Jessica and Polly sat in a booth in the corner. Piper had brought along her boyfriend Larry and Polly had brought her's, Pete. When Lorna told her friends about Nicky they didn't seem impressed but were willing to meet her. 

"Are you ready?" asked Lorna, looking over at Nicky. 

"As I'll ever be." 

"Come on then." Lorna took Nicky's hand and led her over to the table. 

"Hello everyone," Lorna greeted warmly. 

"This is my girlfriend Nicky." Nicky smiled slightly. After the introductions were done with Lorna and Nicky took a seat, sitting close to each other. 

"So Nicky, What do you do for a living?" Piper questioned. 

"Actually at the minuet nothing, but I have a lot of money saved up so it's nothing urgent," Nicky explained. Piper looked over at Jessica and shook her head lightly before looking back over at Nicky and Lorna. 

"How about I get some more drinks. Lorna come and help me," said Piper as she stood up and began to walk over to the bar. 

"I'll be back in a minute," she whispered in Nicky's ear as she stood up and kissed her quickly on the cheek. Lorna didn't know exactly why Piper wanted her to come with her but she knew it wasn't because she needed help with the drinks. 

"What did you want to talk to me about?" Lorna asked, deciding to cut to the chase. 

"Look Lorna. It's your choice with who you date but i'm not getting a good feeling from her." 

"What do you mean?"

"I'm just not getting good vibes from her." 

"But you've only known her for like half an hour. Give her a chance. Please Piper. I really, really like her." 

Piper was hesitant, but for her friends sake, agreed. 

"We should go back to the table, i'm not sure I want to leave Nicky alone with them for too long," said Lorna, picking up a couple of drinks while Piper took the rest. 

00000endflashback00000

Nicky punched a wall. This was a regular occurrence for her. However being in prison, and considering her current situation, she decided it was very much justified. So she punched it again, and again, and again until her knuckles hurt so much, she physically couldn't lift her hand anymore. If she was outside of the four gray walls that she was trapped in, she would be getting drunk. Or shooting up. Or, if it had been a particularly bad day, both. She thought that this moment, she would be doing both. Only then was it that she realised that she probably wouldn't be in her current situation, if she wasn't in prison. If she hadn't of been stupid. If she hadn't of been selfish. Dwelling over bad decisions made by herself, was also one of her favorite things to do. 

She sunk to the floor, her bleeding fist being held in her other hand. Lorna was her everything. She was all Nicky had on the outside. Lorna was the love of her life, but when she heard about Lorna and Vinny, she couldn't contain her anger. Or maybe jealousy. Or maybe both. Damn, all that thinking was making her wish she was high. It took every single bit of will power she had inside of her to not go searching, right then. She knew someone would be willing to give her some. One of the meth heads most likely. She was even willing to use the drugs that Angie had been swallowing in visitation and pooping back out in the showers, an act that almost made her stop showering all together. Wow, she thought. Her life must be really bad if she was considering taking poop drugs. 

However before she could continue with her self destructing, poop drug thoughts, someone else entered the prison bathroom. She looked up at the figure staring down at her and of course it had to be her prison Mother. 

"Nicky, honey, whatever happened?" she questioned. 

"I was petting a goat," Nicky replied, sarcasm lacing her voice. 

"Don't try that with me," scolded Red. "I can see what you have done, but why would you do it?"

"I was mad I guess," Nicky mumbled, really not in the mood to be told off. 

To Nicky's surprise, Red reached a pale hand down to her level. 

"Come let me patch you up." 

Nicky didn't object. She took her Mother's hand and accepted the help she was offering, her mind still solely focused on Lorna. 

00000flashback00000

The atmosphere at the bar was different to the ones Nicky was used to going to. Classier somehow. She had tried to make an effort for tonight as she would be meeting Lorna's friends. Lorna had briefed her on each of them. Nicky thought she could handle them, she was good with people. Well maybe not all of them, Piper may be more of a struggle, she thought. 

As Lorna began to lead Nicky to a table, Nicky quickly looked at the people sitting there. She could see who she assumed to be Jessica sat next to a wall, with Polly and presumably Pete, the other side. Opposite to them was Larry and Piper. Nicky could see the blonde would in fact be trouble. 

"Are you ready?" Lorna asked, her voice calming Nicky slightly. 

"As I'll ever be." Nicky tried to act confident. 

"Come on then." As Lorna grasped Nicky's hand, she knew there was no backing out of it now. 

Lorna greeted the table warmly before introducing Nicky to each individual person. Nicky had in fact managed to guess each person correctly. They all individually  murmured a version of 'hi' or 'hiya' or 'hey' before Lorna pulled Nicky down on the seat next to her. The same row as Piper. 

"So Nicky, what do you do for a living?" Piper asked. Nicky could almost feel her eyes burning into the side of her face. Lorna had warned her that Piper was a little intense, but she and no idea that she would be that intense. Tonight would be interesting, she thought. 

"Actually at the minute nothing, but I have a lot of money saved up so it's nothing urgent." Nicky decided to play it cool. She was determined to not let this Piper girl intimidate her. Piper and Jessica looked at each other, pulling a small gesture before looking back at Nicky. There was an awkward silence. A very awkward one. 

"How about I get some more drinks. Lorna come and help me," Piper said, already standing up. Nicky wasn't sure she wanted to be left alone to these people's prying eyes. 

"I'll be back in a minute," Lorna whispered, sending chills down her spine before leaving her, attempting to catch up to Piper. Nicky was almost certain that Piper was only doing it so she could bad-mouth her to Lorna. She hoped Lorna would stand up for her. 

Polly leaned forward, looking Nicky up and down with her eyes, before settling them on her face, looking her dead in the eye. Larry and Pete seemed to be having a conversation of their own, completly oblivious to what else was going on, so it was just Nicky, Polly and Jessica. 

"So where did you meet?" Polly asked. Nicky realsied that she was most likely going to have questions fired at her until Piper and Lorna came back so she decided to answer them as simply as she could. 

"A bar." 

"Why don't you work?" Jessica questioned, still clearly caught up on Nicky not having a job. She didn't know how much or how little Lorna had told them about her past, and she didn't want to find out. 

"I had to leave." 

"Why?" 

Nicky really didn't want to tell them it was because she was high and smelt like marijuana all the time. 

"Personal reasons." 

"So you weren't fired?" Polly chipped in. 

"Nope." 

Finally they seemed to drop the subject, before questioning her on something else. Nicky realised that it would most likely be a long and painful night.


	10. Chapter Ten

You did what?" questioned Piper loudly, sitting up slightly straighter. Piper and Lorna were sat on Lorna's sofa. 

Lorna took a deep breath and repeated herself. 

"I kissed Vinny." She paused a moment before continuing. "Well actually he kissed me. I just didn't pull away at first." Lorna felt so guilty for saying this, for doing this. She couldn't imagine what Nicky's reaction would be if she found out. She didn't have to tell Nicky though, did she? Lorna couldn't imagine how hard it must be for Nicky being locked up in prison. But Lorna needed comfort, and that was okay. It was definitely okay. Right? Of course it wasn't and she knew that. If she could reverse time and never go to that restaurant where she saw him again, she would. Although she would probably go further back in time and stop Nicky from being sent to prison. Her sweet, loving Nicky, who would always hold her at night. The first thing Nicky would say to her in the mornings would be 'I love you' and it would be the last thing to leave her lips at night. Where had they gone so wrong? 

"Have you told Nicky?" Piper asked, finding it difficult to hide her excitement. She had never liked Nicky. 

"No, of course I haven't. It would break heart. I can't do that to her." 

"Did it mean anything?" 

Lorna couldn't believe what she was hearing. Did Piper seriously think that she could fall in love with Vinny again? 

"No," she answered bluntly, not sure what else to say. 

"Then why not tell her?" 

Piper was really beginning to frustrate her now and Lorna wasn't sure how much longer she could last before lashing out. Deep breath, Lorna. 

"It didn't mean anything so there is no point in telling her. It would only make her do something stupid and then she might get extra time and I need her out as soon as possible." 

Piper didn't say anything for a few moments, until she did, and that was what pushed Lorna over the edge. 

"If it didn't mean anything then why are you telling me? Think about it Lorna. Nicky is in prison, she's a junkie, who as soon as she gets released, will most likely go straight back to drugs. Vinny, well he has an apartment, a stable, well paying job. Leaving her for him wouldn't be a bad thing Lorna."

Lorna stood up forcefully, and looked Piper dead in the eye. 

"I don't get what you have against her. Nicky loves me and she's loyal to me which is more than I can say for Vinny. If you have a problem with her, then you have a problem with me too and you can leave." 

"Lorna I," Piper began, before she was cut off. 

"I said leave." 

Piper knew better than to argue with an angry Lorna, so she obliged. 

Lorna sank back down onto the sofa, shaking with anger. She was mad at herself for causing this whole situation. In a way, Piper was right. At this moment in time, Nicky couldn't provide for her and Vinny could. But she loved Nicky, not him. however Nicky wasn't even speaking to her. Lorna wished so much that she could just pick up the phone and call her lover, but the harsh reality was that she couldn't and it really, really wasn't fair. 

00000flashback00000

"I think they like you," Lorna said, as they entered their shared apartment. Nicky looked at her as if her eye had just fallen out. 

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she questioned. 

"I'm not sure 'liked' is the correct word Lorna," Nicky chuckled, taking a carton of orange juice from the fridge and pouring it into two glasses. One for her and the other for Lorna. She took a long gulp. 

"Sure they did," Lorna defended, also taking a large sip from her glass. She didn't really believe what she was saying but she felt as if she had to. If not to convince Nicky, then to convince herself. 

"That blonde one, ugh, what was her name?" Nicky asked, before remembering. "Ah, Piper, was looking at me like I was a slab of meat. And Jessica might've liked me slightly better if she could get over the fact that I don't have a job." 

Lorna's heart broke hearing the way that Nicky spoke about herself. 

"You know what Nicky, I don't care what they think. To me, you are perfect." 

Nicky smiled and hugged Lorna tightly, kissing her softly on her forehead. 

"I'm going to get into bed, you coming?" Nicky asked. 

"Yeah, I'll be there in a minute." 

"Okay," replied Nicky, disappearing round the corner. Lorna needed to do something first. She dialed Piper's number on her phone and took a seat on the light grey sofa, propping her feet up on the coffee table. 

"Hey, whats up," greeted Piper, answering after about ten seconds. 

"So, what did you think of her?" Lorna thought she knew the answer, but she wanted to find out for definite. 

"Shes um...a little different," Piper began, not really sure how to tell Lorna what she really thought. 

"Different how?" Lorna questioned, pressing for more. 

"Well she doesn't have a job and she doesn't seem as well put together as Vinny did." 

"In case you forgot Piper, Vinny cheated on me so he wasn't perfect Piper. Look please give her a chance. I really, really like her." 

"I guess I can see what happens," she replied, although Lorna really didn't believe her. 

"Listen iv'e got to go. Talk soon?" Piper agreed and they said their goodbyes. 

Lorna turned the light off and went to join her girlfriend in the bedroom. As she entered, Nicky was sat on the side of the bed, looking deep in thought. 

"What are you thinking Nicky?" Lorna asked, taking a seat next to her. 

"Iv'e had an idea," Nicky replied, looking at Lorna seriously. 

"Go on." 

"Why don't we buy a bar?" 

"What, are you crazy?" Lorna began to think that Nicky had lost her mind. 

"No, think about it for a moment. I have lots of money from my Mother, we could use it to buy a bar."

As Lorna began to think about it even more, she considered it to be not a too bad of an idea. 

"So, are you up for the adventure?" Nicky asked, hopefully. 

"With you, always ," Lorna replied. She knew that no matter what happened to them in life, they would take it on together. 

00000endflashback00000

"Are you crazy?" Nicky, whispered, loudly. 

"No, it's a great plan," replied Alex, leaning over her so called food. 

"Okay, so how am I meant to pull it off then?" 

"It's simple. Phone her and tell her to come to visitation on Saturday. Then let me handle the rest." 

"I'm not sure we are really talking at the moment though." 

"And who's fault is that?" questioned Alex suggestively, raising her eyebrows. 

"Fair point." Nicky held her hands up in mock surrender. 

"Anyway, its the perfect way to make up." 

"Its worth a try I suppose. I still don't know how it is going to happen." 

"Like I said Nichols, you do your part by getting her to come and I shall handle the rest."

Nicky got up from the table, dumped her half eaten food in the bin and walked over to the phone area. She took a deep breath and dialled Lorna's phone number. It rang for a few seconds before Lorna picked up. 

"Nicky?" She questioned, trying to hide her excitement. 

"Hey, Lorna. How are you?" Nicky tried to ease herself into the conversation. 

"I'm good, and you?" The conversation was awkward. 

"Let's see, umm, still in prison so," Nicky tried to make a joke. Lorna chuckled awkwardly. The two were silent for a few moments. They had never had a conversation as awkward as this before. 

"Do you think you could come to visitation this  Saturday? I really need to talk to you about something." 

"Sure, is everything okay?" Nicky could hear the nervousness in Lorna's voice. 

"Yeah. Look I've got to go. See you Saturday." 

"Bye Nicky." 

They didn't say 'I love you' like they always did. Nicky slumped her back against the dirty wall. It was going to be a long wait until Saturday to find out if Alex's plan was going to work. 

00000flashback00000

"I think they liked you," said Lorna, although Nicky knew she was completely wrong. 

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Nicky didn't realise that whilst deep in thought, she was looking at Lorna. 

"I'm not sure that 'liked' is the correct word Lorna." She knew that Lorna's friends didn't really like her and she was okay with that. She had met plenty of people over the years who didn't like her, so she knew how to spot someone who didn't. 

Nicky went over to the fridge and took out the carton of orange juice. All she could taste was beer and she needed something to cleanse her palate. She passed a full glass to Lorna before talking a large gulp for herself. 

"Sure they did." Nicky could hear that Lorna was lying. Nicky found it cute. 

"That blonde one, ugh, what was her name?" Her name was at the tip of her tongue. "Ah, Piper, was looking at me like I was a slab of meat. And Jessica might've liked me slightly better if she could get over the fact that I don't have a job," Nicky remembered clearly the look of disgust on her face. She almost felt like laughing. 

"You know what Nicky, I don't care what they think. To me, you are perfect." Hearing this made Nicky realise how lucky she was to have someone like Lorna. She hugged her tightly and pressed a light kiss on her soft forehead. 

"I'm going to get into bed. You coming?" She was exhausted from the evening and she just wanted to snuggle Lorna in bed. 

"Yeah, I'll be there in a minute." 

Nicky walked into their bedroom and sat on the soft bed. She could hear Lorna on the phone but couldn't really hear what she was saying. 

She began thinking of how Jessica had reacted when she realised Nicky didn't have a job. She didn't really have anything to show for herself. 

Since she was little, she had always dreamed of opening a bar. With the money from her Mother and Lorna by her side, she wondered if it would be possible to do so. Deep in her thoughts, she was shocked when Lorna entered their room and sat on the bed next to her. 

"What are you thinking Nicky?" Nicky loved how Lorna was alway able to tell if something was wrong. 

"I've had an idea," Nicky began, unsure of how Lorna would react. 

"Go on." Lorna's voice was soft, encouraging. 

"Why don't we open a bar?" 

"What, are you crazy?" Nicky was expecting this from Lorna. 

"No, think about it for a moment. I have lots of money from my Mother, we could use it to buy a bar." 

Nicky watched as Lorna's facial expression changed and she thought that Lorna was coming round to her way of thinking. 

"So, are you up for the adventure?" Nicky asked not wanting to wait any longer to see what Lorna would say. 

"With you, always." 

With the two of them together, Nicky knew they would be invincible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taking me a while to get these chapters out. I'm trying to re edit them as a wrote this a while ago but I'm super busy at the moment. Let me know what you thought. Thanks!


	11. Chapter Eleven

"And how am I going to get this into visitation with the squat and cough?" Nicky asked, holding the piece of wire that had been twisted into the shape of a ring in the palm of her hand. 

"It's simple, shove it down your bra," Alex replied like it was the simplest thing. Nicky nodded. Her heart was racing and she felt a little sick. Today was visitation and the day that    Alex's plan would be put into action. If it worked, Nicky would be the happiest person on earth, if it didn't, she didn't know what she would do. Lorna meant everything to her and she felt as if this was the last chance she had of keeping her. 

"This better work," Nicky warned. 

"Trust me, if she's as romantic as you say she is, she will say yes." Alex placed a firm hand on her shoulder and squeezed. 

"It will all be fine. I promise Nicky." 

Alex walked away, leaving Nicky sat on her bed all alone. She looked up at the clock on the wall, protected with a small cage. It was time for visitation. She took a deep breath, shoved the ring down her bra and began to long walk to the visiting room. 

Nicky stood in a long line of inmates waiting to go in. As she got closer to the front, she became more nervous. As she reached her front, she was almost sweating.

"Squat and cough," ordered CO Bell, with a smirk on her face. Nicky pulled down her pants, followed by her granny knickers. All she could do was pray that the ring wouldn't fall. She squatted down and coughed. 

"Fine," Bell said, signalling Nicky to stand back up. She quickly pulled her undies and pants back up. A small rush of relief rushed through her as she passed the first stage. All she had to do now was get Lorna to say yes.

Lorna was sat at the usual table in the corner and smiled when she saw Nicky. They embraced in a slightly awkward hug before they were told to let go. Lorna sat down and Nicky sat opposite. 

"You look good," said Nicky, putting off what else she had to do. 

"I wanted to make the effort." 

"Listen Lorna, I'm sorry about last time. I guess I felt insecure about Vinnie but I know I can trust you." She didn't notice the guilty look on Lorna's face. 

"There's something I need to tell you Nicky." Nicky didn't listen. She figured that it was now or never. 

"I've been doing some thinking and I realised that I am ready to spend the rest of my life with you. I know I'm stuck in here for the next few years and you will be out there but I really want to make a commitment to you." Nicky paused to pull the ring from her bra. She took a flabbergasted Lorna's hand. 

"Lorna Morello, will you marry me?" 

Lorna's mouth was hanging wide open. She took the ring from Nicky's hand but didn't put it one. 

"I'm sorry Nicky, I need to do some thinking first." She stood up and quickly rushed out, just like Nicky did the last time. 

"Lona stop, please," Nicky tried. It was unsuccessful. 

"Be quiet," shouted a CO. Nicky left the room, not wanting to be there anymore. 

She rushed to her bed and pulled the covers over her head. She let the tears fall freely from her eyes. She didn't know what she would do anymore.

00000flashback00000

Nicky placed her cold hands over Lorna's eyes. She was excited to see what Lorna thought of the building. 

"I want to see." Lorna giggled. Nicky uncovered her eyes and Lorna's mouth was wide open. 

"It's beautiful Nicky," 

"Have you seen the name?" Lorna's eyes traveled to the top of the building. 'The Red lipped Italian'. 

"Did you name it after me?" she asked. 

"How many Italians with red lips do I know?" Nicky chuckled in response. After months of hard work and a lot of money, her own bar was finally about to open. 

"Are you ready for opening night?" Lorna asked. 

"As ready as I'll ever be." 

The night was in full swing and so far, everything was going well.

"You've done well," said Piper, approaching Nicky who was stood behind the bar. Nicky couldn't believe what she was hearing...a compliment from Piper? 

"Um, thank you," Nicky answered. She didn't really know what else to say. Nicky moved away to serve another customer but she was acutely aware that Piper was still stood there watching her. So when she was finished with the customer, she went back over to Piper. 

"Your last name is Nichols right?" Nicky nodded, unsure of where this was going. 

"My Mother knows your Mother." 

"Okay," Nicky didn't know what else to say. 

"I know all about your previous drug habit and let me promise you something. If you ever hurt Lorna, I will end you." 

"Trust me Piper. I will never hurt her." With that Piper walked away. Nicky scoffed. How dare you talk to her like that. Nicky looked up and saw Lorna smiling and laughing with her friends. She would never let her go. She only looked away when her phone buzzed. She pulled her phone from her pocket and came face to face with a message from an unknown number, however when she read it, she knew exactly who it was from. 

'You owe me a debt, and it needs cashing in now.' 

00000endflashback00000

"Lorna are you okay," Piper asked worriedly as Lorna sat down opposite her in a hurry. They were sat in a small cafe. 

"No, I'm not okay." Piper frowned. 

"So what's wrong then?" 

"Nicky proposed to me." 

"And what's the problem with that?" 

"Are you forgetting the fact that I kissed Vinnie?" Lorna didn't understand why Piper wasn't getting the point.

"I thought you said it didn't mean anything?" Piper questioned, raising her eyebrows. 

"It didn't." 

"Do you love her?" 

Without any thought, Lorna replied instantly. 

"Of course I do, she's my whole world." 

"Do you love Vinnie?" 

"Absolutely not," Lorna shook her head violently. She felt repulsed by the idea. 

"Then there is no problem. Look, I really don't like Nicky and I think that you could do a lot better than her but it's clear that she means everything to you. So you should stop feeling guilty about something that didn't mean anything and when she calls later say yes." Lorna considered her words carefully. Of course she wanted to marry Nicky but she didn't feel like she could without telling her about Vinnie. 

"She normally calls tonight, so long as she's not mad at me for running out of visitation. I'm going to tell her what happened and if she is okay about it, I'll tell her yes." 

Lorna and Piper spoke for  another hour or so before Piper had to go, leaving Lorna anxiously waiting to see if Nicky would call her. Just as she almost gave up hope, the phone rang and instantly Lorna recognised it as the prison. She felt nervous to tell Nicky about her and Vinnie, especially after how she reacted when she found out that he had given her a lift to the prison to see her. 

"Hey," Lorna answered sheepishly. 

"Lorna, I'm so glad you picked up. I'm so sorry for bringing something like that on you. It was too much I know. Please can we just forget it?" But Lorna didn't want to forget it and she was sure that she could tell from Nicky's voice that she didn't want to either. 

"Nicky, it's not that I don't want to marry you or that I don't love you but I need to tell you something first." 

"Okay," Nicky said hesitantly. She sounded nervous. This is it, Lorna thought. She took a deep breathe and braced herself for how the conversation might go. 

"When I told you about Vinnie driving me to see you and you got upset, he took me back to his place. He saw that it had effected me and began telling me that he still loved me. I was sad and angry about you leaving and we kissed. Well actually he kissed me, I just didn't pull away immediately." There was silence on the other end of the line. 

"It didn't mean anything Nicky, I promise. I love you and only she," she tried to reassure. She heard Nicky let out a big sigh at the other end. 

"Is that why you ran away earlier." Lorna nodded but then realised that she would need to verbally answer Nicky. 

"Yes Nicky. I'm so sorry." 

"Okay," was all Nicky replied. Lorna was confused by her reaction. 

"Is that all you have to say?" 

"You said it didn't mean anything so I believe you. I understand that you must be craving some physical contact out there Lorna and I'm okay with it." Lorna couldn't be live what she was hearing. 

"Are you mad?" she asked, almost hopefully. 

"Of course not." 

"I need you to be mad at me Nicky," Lorna was beginning to sound desperate. 

"But I'm not mad Lorna," while Lorna was desperate, Nicky was confused. 

"Be mad me." 

"I'm not feeling it." 

"I need to think Nicky." and before she could reply, Lorna slammed her phone down, sunk to her knees and cried. She didn't understand how Nicky could be okay with it. She was unfaithful. She didn't think she deserved someone like Nicky. She cried harder and harder and harder as the seconds went by. She really has messed it up this time. 

00000flashback00000

As Lorna let Nicky guide her towards the bar, she felt a mix of emotions. Mainly excitement. She was excited that her girlfriend was finally opening her dream bar. After everything she had gone through, at last something good was happening. 

"I want to see," she let out a small, giddy, giggle. Finally, Nicky uncovered her eyes and all she could do was open her mouth, wide. 

"Have you seen the name?" Nicky asked. Lorna carefully moved her eyes upwards, taking in every inch of the building until she was faced with a beautiful red sign with 'The Red Lipped Italian' printed in the middle with large cursive writing. Lorna almost let out a huge beam. 

"Did you name it after me?" Of course Lorna knew that she had, she just wanted to hear Nicky say it. 

"How many Italians with red lips do I know?" 

"Are you ready for opening night?" she asked as her eyes traveled back down and settled on Nicky's nervous and slightly pale looking face. 

"As ready as I'll ever be." With that Nicky walled through the door, and a very proud Lorna followed just behind her.


	12. Chapter Twelve

After searching for about thirty minutes, Alex found Nicky, sat on her bunk, staring at the dull wall. 

"So, how did it go?" she asked, excitedly. Nicky just shook her head. 

"She said no?" 

"That's not even the worst part?" 

"What?" Alex didn't even want to imagine what else went down. 

"I told you about her ex right?" Alex nodded. 

"Well they kissed." 

"I'm so sorry Nicky." Alex put her hand on Nicky's shoulder. Nicky shook it off. 

"I'm not even mad about it." 

"Then what is it? Why aren't you mad?" 

"She's lonely. She needs that kind of connection. She told me it didn't mean anything and I believe her." 

"So why aren't you getting married then?" Alex didn't understand what the problem was. 

"Because she didn't like the fact that I wasn't mad at her."

"What?" Alex asked, her voice raising slightly. When Nicky just shrugged, Alex spoke up again. 

"Why don't you call her?" 

"Maybe. I just was to give her time to cool off first." 

"Well you know where I am if you need me," Alex offered, standing up. Nicky thanked her and watched as she left the cube. 

Nicky sighed as she laid down on her bed. She reached across to her wall and pulled off a photo of her and Lorna, smiling madly at the camera. She felt a tear begin to fall from her left eye. And then another, and another, before she was fully crying. She let the tears fall freely as she let out weeks of pent up anger and sadness. At this point, she didn't know what to do. 

"Nicky," came the harsh Russian voice that Nicky had grown to love. She quickly wiped her eyes and attempted to compose herself before lifting her head up and looking at Red. The look on Red's face instantly told Nicky that Alex had told her everything. She mentally cursed her friend. Nicky just wanted to keep this to herself. 

"Alex told me what happened," Red continued, sitting next to Nicky on her bunk. 

"Of course she did," Nicky replied. 

"She's just trying to be a good friend." 

"I don't want the whole prison knowing all of my love affairs." Red tutted in response. 

"She only told me because she is worried about you Nicky, and if I'm being honest, I'm worried about you too." 

"There's nothing to worry about."

"Don't say that," Red had to stop herself from getting angry. She loved Nicky as one of her own, but sometimes the girl could be so infuriating. 

"You tried to propose to your girlfriend and she rejected you. You feel upset and that's normal Nicky." 

"Thanks for reminding me," Nicky said sarcastically. 

"Can you just leave Red, I need some time alone." 

After some debate, Red agreed and once again, Nicky was alone. And once again, the tears began to fall freely. 

00000flashback00000

Her bar had been open two weeks, and subsequently she had received the dreaded message two weeks ago. 'You owe me a debt, and it needs cashing in now' kept repeating in her head over and over. As of yet though, she hadn't gotten another message. Maybe, he had forgotten? She shook that from her mind right away, of course he hadn't forgotten, Kubra would never forget anything. 

She remembered back to that night, two years ago. She was so desperate for a high but Marka had cut off her money supply, so she did the only thing she could think of. Steal. Of course Kubra had caught her during her attempt to steal the Heroin. It was at that point she thought she was going to die, but instead he let her off. When she questioned why, he simply told her he would need her at a later date, and she didn't hear from him again, until that night in the bar. 

She was pulled from her thoughts when her phone buzzed. She took a deep breath before looking at her phone, bracing herself for the possibility of who it may be from. 

'Meet me at the airport at 11pm tonight. Don't be late.'

She gulped. This was it, she thought. Before she could panic too much more, Lorna entered the room so Nicky quickly put her phone back in her pocket. 

"Hey," Nicky said, attempting not to sound nervous. 

"What are you up to?" Lorna asked suspiciously. Nicky shook her head. 

"Nothing." 

"Are you sure?" Lorna raised her eyebrow slightly. 

"I'm very sure." 

Lorna seemed to believe Nicky and she smiled, stepping closer to her and wrapping an arm around Nicky's shoulder. Nicky kissed it softly. 

"So there is a movie on at the cinema tonight. Do you want to go and see it?" Shit, Nicky thought to herself. 

"I'm sorry Lorna. Lisa has gone sick tonight, so I have to go to the bar." Nicky instantly felt saddened when she saw the look of disappointment on Lorna's face. 

"Rain check for tomorrow?" 

Thankfully Lorna nodded her head. Nicky had no idea what was in store for her tonight, but she hoped that it would be a one time thing. 

00000endflashback00000

Lorna's eyes were still stinging after crying. All she could think about was the fact that she she messed up hugely. She finally had the chance to be happy with Nicky and she blew it. She didn't know what to do anymore. 

Looking around their apartment, for the first time, she noticed how bare it looked. All of the furniture and decorations were still the same, but the place was missing one thing. Nicky. Nicky was who she loved. Nicky was the person she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with. Just before Nicky was shipped off to prison, Lorna had promised her one thing. She promised to wait. Promises were never something she was great at keeping, but this one, she was determined to keep. But she had failed at that too. Allowing Vinnie to kiss her went against everything she had ever said to Nicky. She had betrayed Nicky and she wasn't even mad about it, and that was what made Lorna hesitant. She didn't think she deserved Nicky, and most importantly, she thought Nicky deserved more than her. Oh her sweet innocent Nicky, locked up. If only Lorna had asked more questions that night then none of what followed would have happened. 

She needed to stop doing this to herself, she thought. How could she make it right? She needed to make it right. Maybe the best thing to do, would be to let Nicky go. 

Lorna's phone rang and she instantly felt a rush of different emotions when noticed the number as coming from the prison. She answered quickly. 

"Nicky?" She questioned in a high pitch tone. The other end of the line was silent for a moment before someone who wasn't Nicky spoke up. 

"I'm not Nicky. My name is Alex, I'm a friend." Lorna recognised the name as someone Nicky had mentioned before, something to do with Piper she remembered. 

"What's wrong? Is Nicky hurt? Has something happened to her?" Panic was evident in her voice. 

"Nothing has happened to Nicky, you need to calm down." At this, Lorna relaxed slightly. 

"Then why are you calling me?" Lorna didn't want to sound rude but she had a hard time understanding what Alex wanted. 

"It's evident that you love Nicky. I mean the way you were just then, and I've seen the two of you in visitation before. They way you look at her shows she means everything to you. It's also evident that Nicky loves you, she talks about you none stop," Alex began. 

"She's my whole world," Lorna added. 

"Exactly and right now, your girl is devastated. You need to decided what you want Lorna. If this if something that you can't cope with then you need to tell her now. Don't drag it out for her. Give her a chance to move on." 

Before Lorna could reply, the phone line cut off. She guessed Alex must have run out of phone time. 

"I need to do what's right for Nicky," Lorna kept repeating to herself, over and over. She couldn't think about herself anymore. She had to do this for Nicky. Maybe it would cause pain initially, but in the long run, it would be the right thing to do. 

Lorna sat down on the dining room table with a pen and a piece of paper in front of her and began to write the most heartbreaking letter she would ever write, willing the tears to hold off until after the letter was fished as not to smudge the writing. 

00000flashback00000

As Lorna sat on hers and Nicky's bed, scrolling through her phone, she saw an advert for a film coming on at the cinema that night. She squealed with excitement. She had been waiting for months for this film to come out and finally she could watch it. 

She decided to re-apply her makeup and change her clothes. Then she spritzed herself with some of Nicky's favourite perfume and went to ask her lover to take her to the cinema. She knew Nicky wouldn't say no to her.

As she entered the room where Nicky was, she noticed her quickly put her phone back in her pocket. Was Nicky cheating on her? No, of course she wasn't. Lorna quickly shook that thought from her mind. 

"Hey," Nicky said nervously, something that Lorna picked up on instantly. 

"What are you up to?" Lorna was definitely suspicious, but she just wasn't sure of what. 

"Nothing," Nicky replied. 

"Are you sure?" 

"I'm very sure." Lorna decided to drop it. She trusted Nicky. She trusted Nicky with her life. She smiled and wrapped her arm around Nicky and she smiled even more when Nicky kissed her arm. Softly. Passionately. Lorna decided that this would be the perfect time to ask Nicky about the movie. 

"So there is a movie on at the cinema tonight. Do you want to go and see it?" Lorna noticed that Nicky suddenly looked a little tense. 

"I'm sorry Lorna. Lisa has gone sick tonight, so I have to go to the bar." Lorna concluded that something was definitely going on. 

"Rain check for tomorrow?" Nicky asked. Lorna nodded her head, not wanting to question Nicky any further for now. 

00000endflashback00000

As soon as Nicky was given as letter, she raced back to her bunk. She recognised the writing on the front as Lorna's handwriting. She teared open the envelope and opened it. There was a tear stain at the top of the page. Nicky began to worry. She took a deep breath and read the letter. 

My dearest Nicky, 

Writing this letter to you breaks my heart, but using that same heart, I know this is something I have to do. 

The first time we met, at the bar, I knew there was something special about you. I began to fall deeper and deeper in love with you until finally, I was at the bottom of the ocean. You continue to make me feel proud everyday, no matter where you may be. 

My heart skips a beat every time I think of you and that will continue for as long as I may live. In any other circumstance I would've jumped at the opportunity to marry you. I so badly wanted to say yes. But I don't deserve you. So this is me, letting you go. Not because I don't love you, but because I love you. More than I can put into words. Serve your time and get out. Find yourself someone who deserves you. You are forever in my heart Nicky. Here's one final kiss. 

All my love, Lorna. XOX

Underneath 'here's one final kiss" was a lip mark, in Lorna's trade mark red. Gently, Nicky pressed her lips up to it. She held them there for a few moments before removing them. Nicky broke down into tears. This time, she truly was heartbroken.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Three years later 

 

"Your no fun anymore," Piper complained, sitting down on the bar stool next to Lorna. 

"I'm working," Lorna grumbled in response. Piper got as close to Lorna's face as she possibly could without sitting on top of her. 

"I want to go out, it's my birthday." 

"I'm working," Lorna repeated.

"Lorna it's not even your bar." Piper moved back slightly. 

"I know but I promised Nicky that I would look after it while she was away." Lorna spoke without looking up from her paperwork. 

"She's not on holiday Lorna, she's in prison. Anyway, your not even together anymore. Why bother?" Piper scoffed. 

Lorna sighed and looked up from her paperwork. She didn't expect Piper to understand. 

"I made a promise to her and I intend on keeping it." Piper huffed and moved back in her seat. 

"She should be getting out soon right?" Piper raised her eyebrow. Lorna nodded. 

"Next week." Piper leaned forward, getting in Lorna's face again. lorna leaned back in an attempt to get away from her slightly. 

"Will you see her?" Lorna sighed. Piper was really beginning to annoy her now and she could only think of one way to get her to stop. 

"Still want to go out?" She almost laughed at the change in Piper's facial expression and demeanour. Piper squealed and and grabbed Lorna's shoulders. 

"I knew there was still some old Lorna left in you." 

"Just give me ten minutes." 

Lorna knew she wouldn't get any peace until she agreed. Maybe a night out would be a good idea anyway, a good way to get her mind away from Nicky. She would wake up each morning and for a few sweet seconds she would forget, and then she would remember and it would hit her hard. 

"Are you listening to anything I'm saying?" 

"What?" Lorna's head snapped back up and faced Piper. 

"I was saying you should get laid tonight. It's been a while." 

Lorna sighed, it was going to be a long night. The truth was she didn't want to get laid. She only wanted Nicky, and Nicky was the only one she couldn't have. 

00000flashback00000

Her bar would've been closed by now. Lorna was pacing around their living area, anxiously awaiting Nicky's return. Where was she? Had she been hurt? Had something gone wrong at the bar? 

She had tried calling Nicky a few times but nothing had come of it. She had considered going out and trying to find her but she decided against it. She wouldn't have a clue where to go and she thought it was better to stay put, in case Nicky came back. Lorna knew Nicky was a grown woman who could look after herself, but she also knew about her past, and that was what worried her. 

She sat down on the sofa, stood up again, sat down and stood up once more. She paced for a while before sitting down again. She reached for her phone from her pocket and dialled the number for John, one of Nicky's employees. After only a few seconds, he picked up. 

"Hey John it's Lorna, Nicky's girlfriend." She added the last part in, unsure if he would know her just by her name. 

"Is everything okay?" His voice was deep and husky. It was obvious that he smoked a lot. Lorna could hear loud chatter from customers coming from the other end. She had spent a few nights in Nicky's bar. Sometimes helping out, sometimes just sitting and enjoying a drink but it sounded a lot busier then it normally would. 

"I really need to speak to Nicky. Could you put her on please?" Lorna tried to keep her voice soft, in the hope it would easier persuade John to hand his phone over to Nicky. 

Before he could reply, Lorna heard a female voice in the background. She instantly recognised it as Lisa's. Lorna had spent a fair amount of time with the woman. She was easy to get on with and was often working at the bar when Lorna would be there. At the times where Nicky was too busy to talk to her, Lisa served as good company. 

"Is that Lisa? I thought Nicky said she was sick, that's why she had to come in tonight," Lorna said, referring to their conversation from a few hours ago. 

"She's not sick Lorna. And I would hand my phone over to Nicky, but she's not here. She hasn't been here all night." 

Lorna didn't wait to reply, she hung up her phone quickly and rushed to the door. If Nicky had lied about going to the bar and hadn't been there all night, then Lorna had no idea where she was.

00000endflashback00000

"Come on Nicky," Red begged, taking ahold of Nicky's hand and dragging her along the dull corridors of the prison. 

"Is this really necessary?" asked Nicky, reluctance evident in her voice. Red tutted.

"Of course it is Nicky. You know I always throw a going away party when someone in the family gets released." 

"But I'm not exactly being released into the awaiting arms of a loved one," she complained. Red scoffed. 

"Alex is picking you up isn't she?"

"Exactly." Red tutted again. She guided Nicky round the corner. 

"And she's your friend." Nicky chuckled softly. She knew what Red was trying to do. 

"Look I appreciate what you are trying to do, but it's not going to work." 

Red pulled Nicky back slightly just as they had reached the common room. 

"You know what I mean Nicky. It's been three years sweetheart, you need to move on." Nicky shook her head slightly. 

"How can I move on when I still love her?" Red said something, but Nicky didn't hear what. She entered the common room with a fake smile plastered on her face. She knew all of the girls in this room would kill to be in her position. Of course Nicky was happy to be getting out, but she knew being without Lorna would be harder to deal with than it was in prison. 

There was cake, which she ate, there was shitty music, which she danced to and there were her friends, whom she spoke to but she couldn't get her mind from Lorna. They had plans for after her release. Nicky was going to take her to Paris, a trip they never got to do due to her incarceration. 

Night time came and Nicky tossed and turned in her bed for the final time. It felt weird. Prison had been her home for the past five years, and she had spent her entire sentence counting down to her release, but now it was here, she didn't want it. It would be easy to stay in prison. There was routine, she knew what she had to do to get through the day. She had a family, which she had only ever found in Lorna before. Leaving would leave her with almost nothing.

Soon morning came, and after an almost sleepless night, Nicky felt like a walking zombie. However she got up, took a shower and went down to breakfast to eat her last prison meal.

"You excited?" Boo asked, shifting forward in her seat. 

"Sure," Nicky lied. 

"Vause is picking you up right?" Nicky nodded. Alex had gotten out two years ago. Since then she had gotten a stable job and a decent apartment. She visited Nicky regularly. Neither of them had grown up with a best friend so they relished the friendship that they shared. When Nicky had phoned Alex a few weeks ago telling her she was finally getting released, Alex was ecstatic. 

Nicky had been aware that her release date was looming but it had come as a shock to her when she had been called into the office of a man she had never met and told to write down her address details. After everything that had happened with Lorna, Nicky had really gotten stuck in the mundane day to day life of prison. 

Breakfast passed quickly. Nicky was hurriedly sorting through the small cupboard she had, giving away all her stuff. To her it was all junk, things that would mean nothing to her on the outside, but for the other ladies who weren't getting out, she knew the instant noodles and crappy radio would mean everything. The only thing she did intend on keeping was the precious photo of her and Lorna that she kept under her pillow. It was a reminder of better times. Their faces, smiling and radiant. Feelings she knew she would never get back, not without Lorna. 

"Nichols, time to go," shouted a guard. Nicky took one final look over her now clear bunk. In a weird way, she would miss it. It had been her space for the past five years, now she would have to intrude on someone else's. 

"Do you want to get out?" The guard asked in an inpatient voice. Nicky hurriedly nodded before rushing over to him. Just before she could get there a pair of strong arms wrapped tightly around her. After a few moments Red pulled away and took Nicky's face in her hands. 

"Don't do anything stupid Nicky. You've got a second chance. Take it." Gently Nicky shook her head. 

"What's the point without Lorna? My life means nothing without her." 

"Then do something about it. Your smart Nicky." 

"Let's go," ordered the guard. 

"Take care Red." They hugged once more before Nicky began to follow the guard. 

They reached the same room she was at five years ago when she was being processed in. After one last embarrassing squat and cough, with her adding the comment of 'what the hell would I be smuggling out of prison' she was issued with the standard, ill fitting jeans and jacket. She was led out to the reception area where a man and woman were sat. Her finger prints were taken and she was told to sign multiple documents. Nicky clocked the two people staring at her. 

"Your free to go," said the officer behind the desk. 

"Just like that?" Nicky asked in disbelief. 

"Just like that. Don't let the door hit you on the way out." Old Nicky would've made some sort of snarky comment but in that moment, she just wanted to leave. Maybe this was a new Nicky. She took one final glance around before stepping out of the door, into the real world. 

The first thing she saw was Alex, whom rushed over and hugged Nicky. 

"It's good to see you again Nichols." 

"You too Vause, you too." 

Of course Alex wasn't the person she had dreamed about being there on the day of her release, but she was a good substitute. As she stood there in the embrace of Alex, finally with the freedom she had been dreaming of for years, she thought maybe, just maybe, things would work out in the end. 

00000flashback00000

Her heart was pounding. It felt like it was going to burst from her chest any second. She had been at the airport for an hour and so far she hadn't seen a sign of anyone or any reason as to why she was there. But she couldn't leave, she knew she would be dead meat if she did. Her phone buzzed and nervously, she looked down. 

'There's a brown package for you in the toilets. Use it and someone will see you after.' 

She looked all over but she couldn't see sight of him. She considered just bolting but she found herself slowly walking over to the nearest toilets. As soon as she entered she came face to face with a brown package, laying by the sink. The room was empty so Nicky went over to it. 

She ripped open the package and saw a brown wig, a plane ticket and a passport. She opened the passport and saw a woman's face, who looked similar to her. The name read 'Nicola Harding'. 

She put the wig on her head, ensuring her blonde locks were hidden, and took the passport and ticket in her sweating hands. She chucked the wrapping in the bin at the end of the sink and left, concentrating on her breathing. 

A woman that she didn't recognise approached her almost immediately. 

"Nicky?" She asked. Nicky nodded. The woman handed over a large black suitcase. 

"Get it through customs. Someone will be waiting on the other side for it." 

"That's all I have to do?" Nicky asked, a little surprised. 

"That's it." 

"What's in here?" Nicky noticed the suitcase was heavy. 

"You don't need to worry about that. Go now." The woman walked away, leaving Nicky alone. 

She began walking forward with the suitcase in tow. 'It's okay, I can do this' she thought to herself. She had only taken a few steps before she heard police sirens. Panicked, she turned around and saw four, armed police rushing towards her. She quickly began to run, leaving the suitcase behind. However the police caught up with her in no time, tackling her to the ground. One sat on top her her, another was placing handcuffs round her wrists which were restrained behind her back and a third was holding down her legs. Nicky didn't struggle. She couldn't even if she wanted to. 

The fourth was unzipping the suitcase and Nicky let out a gasp when thousands of pounds worth of heroin fell out, all bundled together in small plastic bags. 

"Aha," the police officer who had opened the suitcase said, with a devilish grin. Just behind him Nicky saw Kubra along with the woman she had just spoken to. 

Laying there, under the weight of a heavy man, being treated like a dangerous criminal, she realised that she had been set up. She had been played and now her life was going to be in pieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know your thoughts. Reviews give me motivation.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think!


End file.
